Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Lessons on a Tuesday

1. Never trust a man who has a fridge stocked with pesto but no ketchup.

2. Sometimes prayer works when your truck doesn't start. Sometimes a new battery works better.

3. Never take a cart when you go to Costco. Or else your bill will be so high you will have to sign off on your first born. Seriously, who NEEDS a 5 gallon jar of pickles?

4. My grandmother had something called a "dinner ring" and wore it after she had changed into something 'appropriate' for dinner. I have something called "sweatpants" and I wear them while I eat my dinner that comes from the microwave.

5. A hair straightener can become an excellent clothes iron in a pinch. (I like to think MacGuyver would be proud of me)

6. Some things just don't translate. Like explaining how funny a phone conversation I had today with my friend about how I plan on trying out for the Amazing Race with an imaginary partner. Needless to say, it would be me, not Hank, who would be performing all the tasks but I would be yelling at him to "hurry up!", endlessly. See? Not so funny typed, but at the time it was hysterical.

7. There is a man in Texas who thinks Canada is in Utah. This should make me sad but it just makes me giggle.

8. It's impossible for me to listen to "Brown Eyed Girl" without wishing I had brown eyes. And a boyfriend who loved layering his clothes and playing that song on the guitar and singing it to me every morning immediately after he serving me breakfast in bed. Oh, and he has a dog too. And nieces he lets braid his hair. And he's always saying things like "how did I ever manage without you!?". And he has parents who marvel at my brain and hug me everytime they see me (which is usually once a month when the whole gang meets for brunch at the estate). And- okay I need to stop.

9. When you start trying to figure out chords, it's time to take a step back and reconsider your love for the air guitar.

10. March Madness makes me happier than Christmas. (I started a pool!)

16 comments:

Aaron said...

#4, I laughed out loud. Twice.
#6, Not so much. ;)

Bre said...

#1 Or doesn't own junk food. Come on, everyone needs some!
#2 In a pinch, look overly flustered, bend at the waist to adjust your shoe, and sigh in thanks when the nice man comes to your rescue.
#3 Pickles are the perfect food... I do! :)
#4 I would happily wear a dinner ring if someone would purchase one for me. Until then I'll just bum around in a football jersey with a pillow on my lap.
#5 and vice versa - it's scary to iron your hair, but it sure works
#6 I hate when my stories end with "I guess you had to be there..."
#7 A student of mine in Pennsylvania pronounces Utah - "Utack" which makes me giggle too
#8 I change the words to "bright eyed girl" because ... well because I can.
#9 that's why I play air drums
#10 Basketball is the one sport I don't understand

To sum up - you rock :)

megabrooke said...

Love #4. Actually have done #5- it DOES work! You KNOW my thoughts on the layered look. And I agree on the whole #8 actually.
Happy Tuesday.

Ally said...

(1) And who doesn't eat bread b/c he's on some gay diet.

(8) Is hilarious! Nice work.

Anonymous said...

1) Agreed!

8) Me too me too!

brandy said...

Aaron- glad you liked it!

Bre- You've ironed your hair with an actual iron? That's so scary I might have a few martinis and try it! Oh, and Utack! made me giggle..

Ally- A man actually refused bread because of a diet? Sweet goodness, what is the world coming to? That's information he should keep to himself.

brooke/ruby- Glad I'm not alone with the #8

Lefty said...

The only thing better than March Madness is the World Series.

I wish I had a TEN gallon jar of pickles!

Jennifer said...

Watching basketball makes my eyes bleed.

My husband is on a low-carb diet (no bread) and I sometimes fantasize about smashing a sourdough loaf over his head. It drives me crazy.

Very funny post!

WestSideSlant said...

#6...Yeah, that's pretty damn funny.

Nothin' but net.

Enjoy the Madness. What's your final four in your pool, and national champ?

Jasika said...

o.m.g.

i LOVE you.

I am constantly ironing my collars with my flat iron!!! I just never told anyone...

And I have brown eyes...and no one f-ing sings it to me. My boyfriend plays the guitar, has a voice like an angel AND a dog AND niece. What a bust.

But, without fail, I wish I had blue eyes when I hear "If you could only see" by Tonic.

(the grass is greenest under your feet)

'liya said...

"There is a man in Texas who thinks Canada is in Utah." oh wow.. I think I find that more funny than sad too :S

Nic said...

I loved this post! And I'm with you on March Madness- Merry Madness!

brandy said...

Lefty- I wish I liked baseball but the games seem so looong.

Jennifer- March madness games go by really quick though- I promise.

WWS- I wish I was more original in my choices- I have Florida, Ohio and NC, with my wild pick being Southern Illinois.(I'm betting hugely on Jamaal Tatum)

Jasika- lol, I love being loved! And maybe I will start listening to the Tonic song to make myself feel better...

'liya- and the best part is, he fought with my friend (who is from Canada) about it.

Nic- thanks you too!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, beautiful. I saw the sweatpants remark and immediately went into Google reader! Get me google reader! Must subscribe! mode.

Anonymous said...

I have never thought about ironing with my flat iron....hmmmm. Interesting!

Sarah said...

Yeah, and what songs are written about Blue Eyed Girls? And how many times have you been on a dance floor with a guy who changes the lyrics...it's not as good.

At the same time, that song "Sarah" just ticks me off everytime I hear it...