Three Words/Phrases I Say Too Often
1. Seriously!
2. Imagine!
3. What the hell am I doing?
Three Addictions That Make me feel like I'm 14 years old
1. "The Hills". I. Cannot. Get. Enough.
2. Facebook
3. Harry Potter mania. New movie annnnd new book this summer? Screw December, I think July is going to feel a lot like Christmas!
4. Going to see J.T. in concert this August. (Because really, what's a better way to celebrate my 26th birthday?)
Three Quirks that make me feel like I'm 84 years old
1. I refer to my legs as my gams
2. I just bought a $63 tube of eye cream
3. I think most people listen to their music too loud
Three Things/People That make me swoon
1. Anyone who is a)male b)in possession of an accent c)single
2. Pretty new shoes. Especially ones on my feet.
3. Seeing other people in love. Since, the last time I was in love man had just invented the wheel and the consensus was that the world was flat. It's been a while, friends. But I love seeing other people in love. Especially old people. It's just so darn cute.
Three Recent Purchases That Made Me Happy (Because yes, I'm the girl who gets happy by material objects. It takes more than personal fulfillment and rainbows to get me to smile sometimes...)
1. New shoes (pink satin with a 3 inch heel. Peeptoe, with a bow. Cuter than a baby panda)
2. "On Beauty" by Zadie Smith. If I ever wrote ONE sentence similar to how she writes, I would die completely fulfilled.
3. Elizabeth Arden Mediterranean perfume. (I smell radiant. sensual. captivating. A modern expression of sparkling radiance.- Well, at least that's what the box says it will be like...)
Three words I commonly misspell
1. accidentally
2. Mediterranean
3. misspell
Three of my best Halloween costumes
1. A ninja turtle (we went as a group. I was the orange one...)
2. A paperbag princess
3. Ashley Olsen (Trout was Mary Kate)
Three things I do exceptionally well
1. write in fragment sentences
2. distract small children and get them away from open windows so they can finish their schoolwork
3. give speeches
Three things I do not do exceptionally well
1. time management
2. hold my tongue
3. hide my excitement
Three people I would love to be for a day
1. Zadie Smith
2. Karl Rove (I would love to see what his typical day is like. Does he really rub his hands together and laugh wickedly when he has an evil plan? I'm curious)
3. Jon Stewart (the man is hilarious)
Three people I would not want to be for a day
1. Ann Coulter (karma is going to get her and I don't want to be around for that)
2. Ann Coulter
3. Ann Coulter
Happy Wednesday!
Showing posts with label lists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lists. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
20/20 Talk
What I wish I would have known 5 years ago, at age 20
- Dude, your house is going to burn down. So when you go away for that one weekend to visit your brother, take your journals with you.
- You know how you pride yourself on holding on to grudges? You shouldn't. Because you aren't holding on to the grudge anymore, it's holding on to you, like a shackle. And every year you continue being angry, sweet girl, it just gets harder to remember why you are so angry in the first place. So back down, grow up and move on.
- Sunscreen. Wear it.
- You will meet a boy and he will be everything you didn't realize you wanted. But, you will break up. You'll contemplate a breakdown on the side of the highway and then much later, it will be the cause of a breakthrough. You will realize that sometimes, what someone will do to you- will have nothing to do with you. That their mistake doesn't have to be your fault.
- If a guy tells you he's a jerk, he's a jerk. If he tells you he's interested, he's interested. If he tells you he has a girlfriend but that he loves you, - run.
- Getting your degree with be the easy part. It's what you do AFTER you have it, that's challenging.
- You are smarter than you think you are.
What I wish I would have known 10 years ago, at age 15
- You know that girl in your highschool that you think is perfect? The one who always wears the Calvin Klein jeans and looks like she's just walked out of a toothpaste ad with her ever smiling grin? Yeah, she doesn't know what the hell she's doing with her life either.
- Don't worry. You will fall in love. I promise.
- Boys have feelings actually. And treating them poorly is bad form, and your mom raised you better than that. Plus, karma is going kick your ass in a few years with a string of bad dates and boys who think the word "tits" is a completely respectable term to throw out upon meeting. Be nice.
- Being rebellious doesn't make someone more interesting. Don't feel bad for not sneaking out and driving around town sipping strawberry wine with girls who have secret tattoos and hate their parents.
- Step away from the hairspray. Your bangs are now officially a fire hazard.
- He's not being mean to you, he's flirting with you. Flirt back.
- You are prettier than what you think you are.
What I wish I would have known 20 years ago, at age 5
-Listen sweetheart, you're mom has something called a 'hobo' purse. In fact, because your mom is a shopaholic she has a ton of them. And they are just going out of fashion so she's going to donate them to Goodwill. DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN. One day in your future, those bags will become insanely popular again and you and your mom will reminisce over them. Save the bags!
- That's it. You are pretty much perfect.
- Dude, your house is going to burn down. So when you go away for that one weekend to visit your brother, take your journals with you.
- You know how you pride yourself on holding on to grudges? You shouldn't. Because you aren't holding on to the grudge anymore, it's holding on to you, like a shackle. And every year you continue being angry, sweet girl, it just gets harder to remember why you are so angry in the first place. So back down, grow up and move on.
- Sunscreen. Wear it.
- You will meet a boy and he will be everything you didn't realize you wanted. But, you will break up. You'll contemplate a breakdown on the side of the highway and then much later, it will be the cause of a breakthrough. You will realize that sometimes, what someone will do to you- will have nothing to do with you. That their mistake doesn't have to be your fault.
- If a guy tells you he's a jerk, he's a jerk. If he tells you he's interested, he's interested. If he tells you he has a girlfriend but that he loves you, - run.
- Getting your degree with be the easy part. It's what you do AFTER you have it, that's challenging.
- You are smarter than you think you are.
What I wish I would have known 10 years ago, at age 15
- You know that girl in your highschool that you think is perfect? The one who always wears the Calvin Klein jeans and looks like she's just walked out of a toothpaste ad with her ever smiling grin? Yeah, she doesn't know what the hell she's doing with her life either.
- Don't worry. You will fall in love. I promise.
- Boys have feelings actually. And treating them poorly is bad form, and your mom raised you better than that. Plus, karma is going kick your ass in a few years with a string of bad dates and boys who think the word "tits" is a completely respectable term to throw out upon meeting. Be nice.
- Being rebellious doesn't make someone more interesting. Don't feel bad for not sneaking out and driving around town sipping strawberry wine with girls who have secret tattoos and hate their parents.
- Step away from the hairspray. Your bangs are now officially a fire hazard.
- He's not being mean to you, he's flirting with you. Flirt back.
- You are prettier than what you think you are.
What I wish I would have known 20 years ago, at age 5
-Listen sweetheart, you're mom has something called a 'hobo' purse. In fact, because your mom is a shopaholic she has a ton of them. And they are just going out of fashion so she's going to donate them to Goodwill. DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN. One day in your future, those bags will become insanely popular again and you and your mom will reminisce over them. Save the bags!
- That's it. You are pretty much perfect.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Stealing Inspiration
So once again, I'm stealing an idea from Bre, because sometimes stealing is the only way I can be inspired.
Things I believe in....
I believe that "sleeping on it" always helps figure out life's big problems. Unless you are sleeping on a rock, then I'm against it.
I believe if your $15 lip gloss makes you feel like a million bucks, it's worth it.
I believe that the only thing more dangerous than a president with a narrow minded personal agenda, is a public who votes him into office. Twice.
I believe in forgiving people, not for them, but for yourself. I believe, this is easier said than done.
I believe that everyone belongs to someone.
I believe that drinking alone doesn't make you an alcoholic. Only drinking alone, maybe...
I believe that a true, honest, platonic friendship rarely can occur between a man and woman, but that it can occur. I believe I'm cynical about this because I'm much more like Harry than Sally.
I believe the hardest lesson to learn is that you can't help who you love, and trying to understand why you do, will lead to a weekly therapist appointment and a strange love affair with late night television.
I believe that you don't have to call your best friend at 3am, to prove she's your 3am friend.
I believe everyone looks prettier when they are happy and are happier when they are feeling pretty.
I believe in thank you notes, tipping even when the food wasn't great, and solo break dancing performances at weddings.
I believe that crying when your sports team loses a big game is perfectly acceptable- crying every time they lose a game, is not.
I believe in regrets, and that I'm a girl who needs to say I have them.
I believe every song sounds better live, every pie tastes better homemade and every shoe is more fabulous when it's on sale.
I believe teachers are undervalued. I believe I think this because I'm a) a teacher and b) someone who sees on a daily basis the gigantic impact a teacher has on students. I also believe that anyone who utters the phrase 'two month holiday' in regards to how easy teachers have it, has never heard the phrase ' school wide lice outbreak'.
I believe that money provides freedom, and freedom provides happiness.
I believe "I'm sorry" always sounds better than "I apologize".
I believe you can love someone more deeply and clearly than ever before, and still be the absolutely wrong person for them. I believe that knowing this, doesn't always bring comfort, in fact, it usually doesn't.
I believe that a woman should choose what she does with her body. I also believe, that abortion shouldn't be used as a form of birth control. I believe that this is a topic that needs more than three sentences to be fully explained.
I believe opening your presents on Christmas Eve is cheating.
I believe that forgiving someone doesn't mean you need to be friends with them.
I believe if someone wants to propose marriage to you, they will. I believe that asking for a proposal is asking for something I would never want.
I believe in the usefulness of interactive toys, light up games and sturdy Baby Einstein books. I also believe that an empty refrigerator box is the best gift you can give a child.
I believe that unless you voted, you haven't earned the right to complain about the government.
I believe every success I've had has been the result of a mother who gave me a truckload of confidence and an eye for great shoes.
I believe people need to let the Anna Nicole thing go. Seriously.
I believe being 'complicated' doesn't make you interesting. Some of the most fascinating people I know are those who live life simply, without the tanglements of drama.
Things I believe in....
I believe that "sleeping on it" always helps figure out life's big problems. Unless you are sleeping on a rock, then I'm against it.
I believe if your $15 lip gloss makes you feel like a million bucks, it's worth it.
I believe that the only thing more dangerous than a president with a narrow minded personal agenda, is a public who votes him into office. Twice.
I believe in forgiving people, not for them, but for yourself. I believe, this is easier said than done.
I believe that everyone belongs to someone.
I believe that drinking alone doesn't make you an alcoholic. Only drinking alone, maybe...
I believe that a true, honest, platonic friendship rarely can occur between a man and woman, but that it can occur. I believe I'm cynical about this because I'm much more like Harry than Sally.
I believe the hardest lesson to learn is that you can't help who you love, and trying to understand why you do, will lead to a weekly therapist appointment and a strange love affair with late night television.
I believe that you don't have to call your best friend at 3am, to prove she's your 3am friend.
I believe everyone looks prettier when they are happy and are happier when they are feeling pretty.
I believe in thank you notes, tipping even when the food wasn't great, and solo break dancing performances at weddings.
I believe that crying when your sports team loses a big game is perfectly acceptable- crying every time they lose a game, is not.
I believe in regrets, and that I'm a girl who needs to say I have them.
I believe every song sounds better live, every pie tastes better homemade and every shoe is more fabulous when it's on sale.
I believe teachers are undervalued. I believe I think this because I'm a) a teacher and b) someone who sees on a daily basis the gigantic impact a teacher has on students. I also believe that anyone who utters the phrase 'two month holiday' in regards to how easy teachers have it, has never heard the phrase ' school wide lice outbreak'.
I believe that money provides freedom, and freedom provides happiness.
I believe "I'm sorry" always sounds better than "I apologize".
I believe you can love someone more deeply and clearly than ever before, and still be the absolutely wrong person for them. I believe that knowing this, doesn't always bring comfort, in fact, it usually doesn't.
I believe that a woman should choose what she does with her body. I also believe, that abortion shouldn't be used as a form of birth control. I believe that this is a topic that needs more than three sentences to be fully explained.
I believe opening your presents on Christmas Eve is cheating.
I believe that forgiving someone doesn't mean you need to be friends with them.
I believe if someone wants to propose marriage to you, they will. I believe that asking for a proposal is asking for something I would never want.
I believe in the usefulness of interactive toys, light up games and sturdy Baby Einstein books. I also believe that an empty refrigerator box is the best gift you can give a child.
I believe that unless you voted, you haven't earned the right to complain about the government.
I believe every success I've had has been the result of a mother who gave me a truckload of confidence and an eye for great shoes.
I believe people need to let the Anna Nicole thing go. Seriously.
I believe being 'complicated' doesn't make you interesting. Some of the most fascinating people I know are those who live life simply, without the tanglements of drama.
Monday, April 2, 2007
I got kidnapped too!
Actually, I didn't get kidnapped. But Ruby tagged me to do this, and she got kidnapped and I was just trying to outdo her. Why? Because at first I thought there was nothing interesting left for me to say about myself since, I succumbed to pressure and wrote out this, and then.. this. But, then I thought to myself 'self, you ARE entertaining and there is MUCH the world doesn't know about you, so do it! And do it well!'. Hence,
FIVE Things You Don't Know About Me
1. I'm a reading dork.
Now, I'm a teacher so I promote reading all the time. It makes you smarter! It expands your vocabulary! All the cool kids are doing it!, but the difference between being an avid reader and being a reading dork is what you read and how often. I've made no excuses to hide the fact that I'm not so secretly in love with Bob Woodward. I have, however, recently discovered a new lusty-like feeling for George. If I just enjoyed the good political book that would be fine, but I like to sprinkle them in between re-reading Harry Potter for clues to what will happen in Book 7. Because, I think I'm going to find all the answers by re-reading the end of book 6, oh, 4789 times. (And to further hammer the dork point, I will admit that I got panicked thinking I wouldn't get Book 7 the day it came out, so I pre-ordered and then asked what time the store opened so I wouldn't be waiting in line until my 35th birthday). And if that still didn't prove how much I loved reading, when I was 9 years old I told my brother that I loved books so much I wished I could eat the pages so they would always be inside me. Okay, I said that when I was like, 14. Okay... like 22. He still makes fun of me for it.
2. I'm anti-"blog"
I hate the word blog. Because it rhymes with my two least favourite words- slob and glob. The word 'Blog' makes me think of old sweatpants that smell like sour milk and spray cheese smeared on the side of someones face. I prefer the term 'Post', as in "I posted about Ohio". To me, "post" implies that I typed while wearing creamy white gloves while sipping chamomile out of a dainty teacup adorned with hand painted buttercups. I've never actually typed while wearing gloves, or drank tea out of an actual teacup with saucer (I prefer comfy pants and a juice box), but the idea of it makes me feel better.
3. I've lived in a tent
Not permanently. But, growing up my dad's hobby required travelling every summer, so each year from June to August, my family would travel all over Western Canada. And because for the entire summer we lived in our holiday trailer, and as much as I love my family a girl needs some space- I took to sleeping in a tent.
Every night. Every summer. For ten years. (And for this sacrifice, my parents rewarded me with a very cool tent of my choosing for each summer. To this day, I get ridiculously excited when I see the tents up at Costco for you to buy)
4. I like hospitals
I suspect the reason I like them is because when I'm there it's me in the hospital and not anyone else. If I knew someone who was always in the hospital, I suppose I would detest them with the same fury that Paris would shun polyester. But, because it's me, I enjoy them. When I'm there overnight, I love the blankets they give you with just enough scratch to exfoliate (too bad they didn't smell like this) your body and dim lights- dark enough to make you sleepy, not enough to make you scared. I get blood taken a lot (mostly, to just re-confirm the fact that the blood I do have is bad), and doctors waiting rooms make me feel just as good. I like reading all the old Housekeeping magazines that give me quilting advice or tips on making meatloaf. Perhaps the reason I like hospitals and waiting rooms is because I know neither is permanent.
5. I'm always gettin' lucky
When it comes to winning contests, or getting money for doing nothing, I'm always getting lucky. The last contest I entered and then forgot about, I won. First place. Hundreds of dollars in gift certificates to the mall, new sunglasses and two tickets to a three day outdoor concert. When I was in university I applied for this obscure funding option based on the fact that my grandmothers grandmother was Native, and I got my last year of tuition/books/rent paid for. Plus a healthy spending allowance. And even now, I get random cheques from the government and I have no idea why.
And now you are fully in the know about me. Oh, one more thing... I'm trying to update my blogro-, er, postroll, so if I don't have you would you just leave a comment so I can keep track of everyone I need to add?
FIVE Things You Don't Know About Me
1. I'm a reading dork.
Now, I'm a teacher so I promote reading all the time. It makes you smarter! It expands your vocabulary! All the cool kids are doing it!, but the difference between being an avid reader and being a reading dork is what you read and how often. I've made no excuses to hide the fact that I'm not so secretly in love with Bob Woodward. I have, however, recently discovered a new lusty-like feeling for George. If I just enjoyed the good political book that would be fine, but I like to sprinkle them in between re-reading Harry Potter for clues to what will happen in Book 7. Because, I think I'm going to find all the answers by re-reading the end of book 6, oh, 4789 times. (And to further hammer the dork point, I will admit that I got panicked thinking I wouldn't get Book 7 the day it came out, so I pre-ordered and then asked what time the store opened so I wouldn't be waiting in line until my 35th birthday). And if that still didn't prove how much I loved reading, when I was 9 years old I told my brother that I loved books so much I wished I could eat the pages so they would always be inside me. Okay, I said that when I was like, 14. Okay... like 22. He still makes fun of me for it.
2. I'm anti-"blog"
I hate the word blog. Because it rhymes with my two least favourite words- slob and glob. The word 'Blog' makes me think of old sweatpants that smell like sour milk and spray cheese smeared on the side of someones face. I prefer the term 'Post', as in "I posted about Ohio". To me, "post" implies that I typed while wearing creamy white gloves while sipping chamomile out of a dainty teacup adorned with hand painted buttercups. I've never actually typed while wearing gloves, or drank tea out of an actual teacup with saucer (I prefer comfy pants and a juice box), but the idea of it makes me feel better.
3. I've lived in a tent
Not permanently. But, growing up my dad's hobby required travelling every summer, so each year from June to August, my family would travel all over Western Canada. And because for the entire summer we lived in our holiday trailer, and as much as I love my family a girl needs some space- I took to sleeping in a tent.
Every night. Every summer. For ten years. (And for this sacrifice, my parents rewarded me with a very cool tent of my choosing for each summer. To this day, I get ridiculously excited when I see the tents up at Costco for you to buy)
4. I like hospitals
I suspect the reason I like them is because when I'm there it's me in the hospital and not anyone else. If I knew someone who was always in the hospital, I suppose I would detest them with the same fury that Paris would shun polyester. But, because it's me, I enjoy them. When I'm there overnight, I love the blankets they give you with just enough scratch to exfoliate (too bad they didn't smell like this) your body and dim lights- dark enough to make you sleepy, not enough to make you scared. I get blood taken a lot (mostly, to just re-confirm the fact that the blood I do have is bad), and doctors waiting rooms make me feel just as good. I like reading all the old Housekeeping magazines that give me quilting advice or tips on making meatloaf. Perhaps the reason I like hospitals and waiting rooms is because I know neither is permanent.
5. I'm always gettin' lucky
When it comes to winning contests, or getting money for doing nothing, I'm always getting lucky. The last contest I entered and then forgot about, I won. First place. Hundreds of dollars in gift certificates to the mall, new sunglasses and two tickets to a three day outdoor concert. When I was in university I applied for this obscure funding option based on the fact that my grandmothers grandmother was Native, and I got my last year of tuition/books/rent paid for. Plus a healthy spending allowance. And even now, I get random cheques from the government and I have no idea why.
And now you are fully in the know about me. Oh, one more thing... I'm trying to update my blogro-, er, postroll, so if I don't have you would you just leave a comment so I can keep track of everyone I need to add?
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Discomfort Zone
Like Pavlov's dogs, I'm learning that certain triggers will send me into an unplanned response. More specifically, certain phrases will send me into a blood curdling, hair tingling, cold and uncomfortable sweat that will prompt me to lie in the fetal position under my bed and drink whiskey until I think I AM Johnny Cash.
Okay, I exaggerate, but here are some phrases that make me prone to fits of extreme rage, or you know, just uncomfortable or unhappy...
- "I signed us up for karokee, stop drinking so fast, let's do this song sober!"
- "Hi there, this is Revenue Canada. Can we please speak to Brandy?"
- "You're late" (I hate,hate, HATE being late)
- "It's time for a pap smear!"
- " I think you are silly/cute/a joke".
- "It broke" (And to quote Louis Armstrong, 'if you have to ask, you'll never know')
- "Now, I know we said we weren't going to cut a lot of hair off this time, but I thought this Dorothy Hamill cut would really suit you. Hey, why are you crying?"
- "Nope, we don't have you booked on this airplane, sorry! Now can you step aside for the next person in line?"
- "Hey, dude, I'm watching your house burn down right now. No really. Ohhh, they just smashed your window."
- "I don't want to date you anymore, but happy birthday."
- "Ma'am, I need to see your license and registration" (this is only uncomfortable when I'm driving with expired insurance...)
- "You're a democrat? Wow, I would have totally pegged you as a Republican." (this one was more funny, but I was shocked nonetheless)
- "I don't watch The Office. Wait, why are you looking at me like that? What's wrong?"
And of course, the ever popular, never appreciated
- "I have some bad news"
Okay, I exaggerate, but here are some phrases that make me prone to fits of extreme rage, or you know, just uncomfortable or unhappy...
- "I signed us up for karokee, stop drinking so fast, let's do this song sober!"
- "Hi there, this is Revenue Canada. Can we please speak to Brandy?"
- "You're late" (I hate,hate, HATE being late)
- "It's time for a pap smear!"
- " I think you are silly/cute/a joke".
- "It broke" (And to quote Louis Armstrong, 'if you have to ask, you'll never know')
- "Now, I know we said we weren't going to cut a lot of hair off this time, but I thought this Dorothy Hamill cut would really suit you. Hey, why are you crying?"
- "Nope, we don't have you booked on this airplane, sorry! Now can you step aside for the next person in line?"
- "Hey, dude, I'm watching your house burn down right now. No really. Ohhh, they just smashed your window."
- "I don't want to date you anymore, but happy birthday."
- "Ma'am, I need to see your license and registration" (this is only uncomfortable when I'm driving with expired insurance...)
- "You're a democrat? Wow, I would have totally pegged you as a Republican." (this one was more funny, but I was shocked nonetheless)
- "I don't watch The Office. Wait, why are you looking at me like that? What's wrong?"
And of course, the ever popular, never appreciated
- "I have some bad news"
Monday, March 19, 2007
Worth the wait in an instant world
We live in an instant world. Instant coffee, instant messaging, instant car starters. We wait for nothing. We can fast forward our commercials, email our letters and drive-thru for our meals.
Everything happens so quick that when I actually am forced to wait for something; eggs to cook, Saturdays paper, a doctor to see me, life suddenly seems to move very slow. Too slow. Unbearably slow.
While toe-tapping and watch checking this morning waiting for an airline flight confirmation, I got to thinking about what is WORTH waiting for. What would I never want to be found quicker, what I wouldn't want to experience sooner, what I would hate for technology to 'speed up'. My list of what's worth waiting for includes...
- homemade pie crust. Actually, any food that's homemade. Instant potatoes scare me more than Tara Reid.
- babies.
- the third date kiss. Not the "it's the third date so we should kiss", but the "I'm so excited about you, I need to kiss you" kind.
- a proper goodbye.
- handwritten letters in the mail that confirm I'm not the only one who misspells "foreign".
- my birthday.
- someone who loves you even on the days (most especially on the days) you don't love yourself.
- garden peas.
- the shoes you adore (but cost more than your car) to come on sale.
- a glued macaroni picture addressed to you in crayon.
- an "I love you" to be said sober, fully clothed and vertical.
- movie sequels with an actual plot.
- waiting in line to meet Cinderella.
- an explanation for a broken heart, missed lunch appointment or $489 vehicle repair bill.
- seeing your favourite piece of artwork so close up your eyes can trace the paint strokes and find the pieces of hair stuck in the paint.
- the perfect wedding dress.
Suddenly waiting doesn't seem so bad.
Everything happens so quick that when I actually am forced to wait for something; eggs to cook, Saturdays paper, a doctor to see me, life suddenly seems to move very slow. Too slow. Unbearably slow.
While toe-tapping and watch checking this morning waiting for an airline flight confirmation, I got to thinking about what is WORTH waiting for. What would I never want to be found quicker, what I wouldn't want to experience sooner, what I would hate for technology to 'speed up'. My list of what's worth waiting for includes...
- homemade pie crust. Actually, any food that's homemade. Instant potatoes scare me more than Tara Reid.
- babies.
- the third date kiss. Not the "it's the third date so we should kiss", but the "I'm so excited about you, I need to kiss you" kind.
- a proper goodbye.
- handwritten letters in the mail that confirm I'm not the only one who misspells "foreign".
- my birthday.
- someone who loves you even on the days (most especially on the days) you don't love yourself.
- garden peas.
- the shoes you adore (but cost more than your car) to come on sale.
- a glued macaroni picture addressed to you in crayon.
- an "I love you" to be said sober, fully clothed and vertical.
- movie sequels with an actual plot.
- waiting in line to meet Cinderella.
- an explanation for a broken heart, missed lunch appointment or $489 vehicle repair bill.
- seeing your favourite piece of artwork so close up your eyes can trace the paint strokes and find the pieces of hair stuck in the paint.
- the perfect wedding dress.
Suddenly waiting doesn't seem so bad.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Lessons on a Tuesday
1. Never trust a man who has a fridge stocked with pesto but no ketchup.
2. Sometimes prayer works when your truck doesn't start. Sometimes a new battery works better.
3. Never take a cart when you go to Costco. Or else your bill will be so high you will have to sign off on your first born. Seriously, who NEEDS a 5 gallon jar of pickles?
4. My grandmother had something called a "dinner ring" and wore it after she had changed into something 'appropriate' for dinner. I have something called "sweatpants" and I wear them while I eat my dinner that comes from the microwave.
5. A hair straightener can become an excellent clothes iron in a pinch. (I like to think MacGuyver would be proud of me)
6. Some things just don't translate. Like explaining how funny a phone conversation I had today with my friend about how I plan on trying out for the Amazing Race with an imaginary partner. Needless to say, it would be me, not Hank, who would be performing all the tasks but I would be yelling at him to "hurry up!", endlessly. See? Not so funny typed, but at the time it was hysterical.
7. There is a man in Texas who thinks Canada is in Utah. This should make me sad but it just makes me giggle.
8. It's impossible for me to listen to "Brown Eyed Girl" without wishing I had brown eyes. And a boyfriend who loved layering his clothes and playing that song on the guitar and singing it to me every morning immediately after he serving me breakfast in bed. Oh, and he has a dog too. And nieces he lets braid his hair. And he's always saying things like "how did I ever manage without you!?". And he has parents who marvel at my brain and hug me everytime they see me (which is usually once a month when the whole gang meets for brunch at the estate). And- okay I need to stop.
9. When you start trying to figure out chords, it's time to take a step back and reconsider your love for the air guitar.
10. March Madness makes me happier than Christmas. (I started a pool!)
2. Sometimes prayer works when your truck doesn't start. Sometimes a new battery works better.
3. Never take a cart when you go to Costco. Or else your bill will be so high you will have to sign off on your first born. Seriously, who NEEDS a 5 gallon jar of pickles?
4. My grandmother had something called a "dinner ring" and wore it after she had changed into something 'appropriate' for dinner. I have something called "sweatpants" and I wear them while I eat my dinner that comes from the microwave.
5. A hair straightener can become an excellent clothes iron in a pinch. (I like to think MacGuyver would be proud of me)
6. Some things just don't translate. Like explaining how funny a phone conversation I had today with my friend about how I plan on trying out for the Amazing Race with an imaginary partner. Needless to say, it would be me, not Hank, who would be performing all the tasks but I would be yelling at him to "hurry up!", endlessly. See? Not so funny typed, but at the time it was hysterical.
7. There is a man in Texas who thinks Canada is in Utah. This should make me sad but it just makes me giggle.
8. It's impossible for me to listen to "Brown Eyed Girl" without wishing I had brown eyes. And a boyfriend who loved layering his clothes and playing that song on the guitar and singing it to me every morning immediately after he serving me breakfast in bed. Oh, and he has a dog too. And nieces he lets braid his hair. And he's always saying things like "how did I ever manage without you!?". And he has parents who marvel at my brain and hug me everytime they see me (which is usually once a month when the whole gang meets for brunch at the estate). And- okay I need to stop.
9. When you start trying to figure out chords, it's time to take a step back and reconsider your love for the air guitar.
10. March Madness makes me happier than Christmas. (I started a pool!)
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
100
I'm a big fan of conformity. In fact, I don't think there is enough in the world. Too many people are trying to be original and that's a shame. Conforming is comforting. I mean, show me a person who hasn't had a good time following their friends off a bridge and I will show you a liar. Thus, when I started noticing every freaking blogger has listed a 100 things about them I jumped on the bandwagon (and off the metaphoric bridge).
Conforming- it's just one more way to fit in.
1. I was born August 22nd, 1981- at night. I don't know the specific time and my mom can't remember. This bothers me immensely.
2. I think the juice box may be one of the world's greatest inventions
3. Buying stationary gives me a high.
4. My favorite fruit is oranges, I do not like strawberries.
5. I want to visit Rhode Island, Ireland, Prague and Madrid. I do not want to go to Las Vegas.
6. My grade school bus driver was English and loved to sing to Annie Lennox in the mornings.
7. My favourite 'kid friendly' joke involves pirates and movie ratings.
8. "Whoo ha!" (channeling Al Pacino) is my favourite thing to yell when I'm excited
9. I can play the 'Flintstones' theme song on the piano. With my eyes closed.
10. I'm much more productive in the summer, which further proves my theory that I am solar powered.
11. I think Janet Jackson is overrated. Joseph Arthur is underrated.
12. I have my blue swimming badge.
13. I believe that "I'm sorry" always sounds better than " I apologize"
14. I do not own a Jack Johnson cd.
15. I prefer Cat Stevens to Sheryl Crow, but I would not like to be named Cat.
16. I wear 2 toe rings.
17. i can do the robot
18. When I don't think I've explained myself as clearly as I could have, I bite my lip and shake my head.
19. Peonies are my favorite flower
20. I am excellent at roulette.
21. I'm excellent at talking without saying anything.
22. i do not like white food. Or bacon.
23. i like extremely violent weather.
24. i always fall asleep on road trips.
25. John Krasinski is today's top 5, 1-5. Always.
26. i like the smell of the light blue mr.sketch marker.
27. i do not know how to work fax machines
28. i played my recorder at my friends wedding. Because she asked me to and I'm cool like that.
29. I like crushed ice, not cubed.
30. When I substitute, teachers have confused me with a student and have reprimanded me in the hall for not being in class. Sometimes I tell them I'm teaching. When I'm tired I just nod.
31. "Baby It's Cold Outside" by Frank Sinatra is my favorite Christmas carol
32. I am very bad at: time management, hitting a baseball, keeping track of my keys and driving a standard.
33. I must always be singing while I drive.
34. My favorite mode of transportation is train.
35. Kirstin Dunst is my least favorite person on the planet for reasons I do not understand.
36. I like the name Jack.
37. American History was my favorite academic subject.
38. I once got 17% on a midterm and my professor wrote 'good improvement'. And he was serious. It was.
39. I once was walking and got hit by a car.
40. Pineapple juice is my favorite beverage derived from a fruit.
41. "The Office" is my favorite television show.
42. I once held a job that required me to wear an oxygen tank and full protective gear.
43. i do not believe at love at first sight.
44. Sometimes I take the bruised fruit at the grocery store because I don't think anyone else will.
45. I believe in karma
46. Zoos make me sad.
47. I get carsick.
48. i admire kids who don't listen, unless I am teaching them.
49. I like cats, against my better judgement.
50. I like green apples, I do not like red.
51. The previews are my favourite part of the movie theatre experience.
52. I believe that songs on the radio come on as direct signs to me
53. I've stolen karaoke books and tongue depressors. I have never shoplifted.
54. My principal once chased me all through the school after an argument. Does it make it worse when I say I was in grade 9?
55. When at the public library and I see a book I read and loved, I will pull it out on the shelf a little more so it stands out. Librarians must hate me.
56. I am an excellent public speaker
57. Water skiing scares the crap out of me.
58. March Madness is my favorite sporting event of the year.
59. I like the aisle seat.
60. My least productive time of day is morning.
61. I like leaving phone messages, but hate the sound of my voice.
62. Bottle Rocket is one of the greatest movies of all time. This is not opinion- this is fact.
63. I get mad when I think that I can't vote to chose the next President.
64. Blue freezies are the best.
65. My worst date involved a man who refused to stop at red lights.
66. I really like airplane magazines
67. I get a lot of parking tickets
68. My favorite color is yellow
69. 384 is my highest Scrabble score, my favourite Scrabble word to write is squirrel.
70. I get irrationally angry when I watch "City of Angels"
71. I do not know my license plate number.
72. I'm currently teaching myself French. I've mastered 'hello' and 'poutine'. I think I'm set.
73. I regularly think of who would be my "phone a friend" if I ever was on "Who wants to be a millionaire?"
74. I like grape pop, but can't remember the last time I had enough guts to buy it.
75. I do not find painting pottery relaxing.
76. I cheat at Solitaire.
77. I believe Alex Trebeck is one of the only people on the planet who looks better with a mustache.
78. I judge books by their cover.
79. There is something about Kevin Costner that forces me to stare at him.
80. I like watching sporting events only for the opportunity to yell loudly.
81. I broke my fingers playing basketball in grade 8 and my teacher didn't believe me and had me keep playing. It was only when I started crying I got to sit out.
82. I dislike haircutting services with lame names like 'hair4u!' or 'hair today, gone tomorrow!', or 'hairisma!'.
83. If people were parts of a magic trick, I would be the turn. And I'm happy about that.
84. I get scared when I think about JK Rowling ever dying before the last book gets released.
85. Ronald McDonald once picked me to be his special magician helper on stage.
86. I like lego. Still.
87. Escalators make me nervous
88. If I don't know what to say, I will say 'thank you'. Even if it doesn't make sense. Usually when it doesn't make sense.
89. My zodiac profile says I'm cunning.
90. I can't open my eyes under water.
91. I'm allergic to beer. This is my burden.
92. "Later" is my least favorite way of saying goodbye
93. I am excellent at putting electronics together
94. I do not like to eat eggs cooked by other people
95. When I doodle, I always draw people. And shoes. And jars.
96. I do not like to text in short form: I feel bad writing "ur" instead of "your" or "you're"
97. My toothbrush is orange.
98. I have been in love a few times but my heart has only been broken twice- and both times it was worth it.
99. i like roasting marshmallows, I do not like eating them.
100. George is my favourite Beatle, but I'm most like John.
Conforming- it's just one more way to fit in.
1. I was born August 22nd, 1981- at night. I don't know the specific time and my mom can't remember. This bothers me immensely.
2. I think the juice box may be one of the world's greatest inventions
3. Buying stationary gives me a high.
4. My favorite fruit is oranges, I do not like strawberries.
5. I want to visit Rhode Island, Ireland, Prague and Madrid. I do not want to go to Las Vegas.
6. My grade school bus driver was English and loved to sing to Annie Lennox in the mornings.
7. My favourite 'kid friendly' joke involves pirates and movie ratings.
8. "Whoo ha!" (channeling Al Pacino) is my favourite thing to yell when I'm excited
9. I can play the 'Flintstones' theme song on the piano. With my eyes closed.
10. I'm much more productive in the summer, which further proves my theory that I am solar powered.
11. I think Janet Jackson is overrated. Joseph Arthur is underrated.
12. I have my blue swimming badge.
13. I believe that "I'm sorry" always sounds better than " I apologize"
14. I do not own a Jack Johnson cd.
15. I prefer Cat Stevens to Sheryl Crow, but I would not like to be named Cat.
16. I wear 2 toe rings.
17. i can do the robot
18. When I don't think I've explained myself as clearly as I could have, I bite my lip and shake my head.
19. Peonies are my favorite flower
20. I am excellent at roulette.
21. I'm excellent at talking without saying anything.
22. i do not like white food. Or bacon.
23. i like extremely violent weather.
24. i always fall asleep on road trips.
25. John Krasinski is today's top 5, 1-5. Always.
26. i like the smell of the light blue mr.sketch marker.
27. i do not know how to work fax machines
28. i played my recorder at my friends wedding. Because she asked me to and I'm cool like that.
29. I like crushed ice, not cubed.
30. When I substitute, teachers have confused me with a student and have reprimanded me in the hall for not being in class. Sometimes I tell them I'm teaching. When I'm tired I just nod.
31. "Baby It's Cold Outside" by Frank Sinatra is my favorite Christmas carol
32. I am very bad at: time management, hitting a baseball, keeping track of my keys and driving a standard.
33. I must always be singing while I drive.
34. My favorite mode of transportation is train.
35. Kirstin Dunst is my least favorite person on the planet for reasons I do not understand.
36. I like the name Jack.
37. American History was my favorite academic subject.
38. I once got 17% on a midterm and my professor wrote 'good improvement'. And he was serious. It was.
39. I once was walking and got hit by a car.
40. Pineapple juice is my favorite beverage derived from a fruit.
41. "The Office" is my favorite television show.
42. I once held a job that required me to wear an oxygen tank and full protective gear.
43. i do not believe at love at first sight.
44. Sometimes I take the bruised fruit at the grocery store because I don't think anyone else will.
45. I believe in karma
46. Zoos make me sad.
47. I get carsick.
48. i admire kids who don't listen, unless I am teaching them.
49. I like cats, against my better judgement.
50. I like green apples, I do not like red.
51. The previews are my favourite part of the movie theatre experience.
52. I believe that songs on the radio come on as direct signs to me
53. I've stolen karaoke books and tongue depressors. I have never shoplifted.
54. My principal once chased me all through the school after an argument. Does it make it worse when I say I was in grade 9?
55. When at the public library and I see a book I read and loved, I will pull it out on the shelf a little more so it stands out. Librarians must hate me.
56. I am an excellent public speaker
57. Water skiing scares the crap out of me.
58. March Madness is my favorite sporting event of the year.
59. I like the aisle seat.
60. My least productive time of day is morning.
61. I like leaving phone messages, but hate the sound of my voice.
62. Bottle Rocket is one of the greatest movies of all time. This is not opinion- this is fact.
63. I get mad when I think that I can't vote to chose the next President.
64. Blue freezies are the best.
65. My worst date involved a man who refused to stop at red lights.
66. I really like airplane magazines
67. I get a lot of parking tickets
68. My favorite color is yellow
69. 384 is my highest Scrabble score, my favourite Scrabble word to write is squirrel.
70. I get irrationally angry when I watch "City of Angels"
71. I do not know my license plate number.
72. I'm currently teaching myself French. I've mastered 'hello' and 'poutine'. I think I'm set.
73. I regularly think of who would be my "phone a friend" if I ever was on "Who wants to be a millionaire?"
74. I like grape pop, but can't remember the last time I had enough guts to buy it.
75. I do not find painting pottery relaxing.
76. I cheat at Solitaire.
77. I believe Alex Trebeck is one of the only people on the planet who looks better with a mustache.
78. I judge books by their cover.
79. There is something about Kevin Costner that forces me to stare at him.
80. I like watching sporting events only for the opportunity to yell loudly.
81. I broke my fingers playing basketball in grade 8 and my teacher didn't believe me and had me keep playing. It was only when I started crying I got to sit out.
82. I dislike haircutting services with lame names like 'hair4u!' or 'hair today, gone tomorrow!', or 'hairisma!'.
83. If people were parts of a magic trick, I would be the turn. And I'm happy about that.
84. I get scared when I think about JK Rowling ever dying before the last book gets released.
85. Ronald McDonald once picked me to be his special magician helper on stage.
86. I like lego. Still.
87. Escalators make me nervous
88. If I don't know what to say, I will say 'thank you'. Even if it doesn't make sense. Usually when it doesn't make sense.
89. My zodiac profile says I'm cunning.
90. I can't open my eyes under water.
91. I'm allergic to beer. This is my burden.
92. "Later" is my least favorite way of saying goodbye
93. I am excellent at putting electronics together
94. I do not like to eat eggs cooked by other people
95. When I doodle, I always draw people. And shoes. And jars.
96. I do not like to text in short form: I feel bad writing "ur" instead of "your" or "you're"
97. My toothbrush is orange.
98. I have been in love a few times but my heart has only been broken twice- and both times it was worth it.
99. i like roasting marshmallows, I do not like eating them.
100. George is my favourite Beatle, but I'm most like John.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Sucker...
I read about this here. And loved it because 1) who doesn't love thinking of all the things they love (?) and 2) I'm a sucker for lists.
Things That I'm a Sucker For...
- Accents. Sweet Jesus, accents!
- the smell of the bookstore
- someone else washing my hair
- tequila
- Ikea
- guys who cry, but who also you know... chop wood and build stuff.
- handwritten letters
- corn in anything I can figure out a way to add it to
- Jon Stewart
- any food that comes on a stick (carmel apple- with nuts, kebob, corn dog...)
- Scrabble
- the George
- 3am phone calls that aren't an emergency
- black and white photography
- puzzles. Not Sudoku, puzzles from a box.
- rootbeer in bottles
- dodgeball
- making lists
- the perfect quote
- fort building
- Aveda shampure
- duvets
- "The Hills". Damnit.
- cotton candy ice cream
- men who play guitar
- toques
- the sale rack
- fat, glossy fashion magazines
- Julie Andrews' sing-a-longs
- snow days
- drink specials
- my bed
- Bob Woodward books
- white tanks tops (can you ever have enough?)
- roadtrips
Man. I love this list.
Things That I'm a Sucker For...
- Accents. Sweet Jesus, accents!
- the smell of the bookstore
- someone else washing my hair
- tequila
- Ikea
- guys who cry, but who also you know... chop wood and build stuff.
- handwritten letters
- corn in anything I can figure out a way to add it to
- Jon Stewart
- any food that comes on a stick (carmel apple- with nuts, kebob, corn dog...)
- Scrabble
- the George
- 3am phone calls that aren't an emergency
- black and white photography
- puzzles. Not Sudoku, puzzles from a box.
- rootbeer in bottles
- dodgeball
- making lists
- the perfect quote
- fort building
- Aveda shampure
- duvets
- "The Hills". Damnit.
- cotton candy ice cream
- men who play guitar
- toques
- the sale rack
- fat, glossy fashion magazines
- Julie Andrews' sing-a-longs
- snow days
- drink specials
- my bed
- Bob Woodward books
- white tanks tops (can you ever have enough?)
- roadtrips
Man. I love this list.
Truth in the Lies I tell myself
I always thought I was a good cook. Then I came home yesterday and attempted to make soup. I burnt it and then (in a blinding moment of clarity), thought I could still salvage some by adding water (Note: This was not me being a 'thrifty' cook, this was me being a 'too lazy to start again/ let's be adventurous' cook). That didn't work. I ended up eating a piece of gluten free toast and peanut butter on the kitchen floor feeling sorry for myself.
I've decided that cooking is like speaking french, if you don't practice it you lose it and suddenly you find yourself angry that you told a lie to yourself that you still believed. And you can't decide if you're more annoyed that you kept telling yourself something that wasn't true, or that you so readily believed it.
I decided to make a list of the lies I tell myself and the truth (if any) that is hidden in them. This is what I found...
Lie #1: I am a great cook
Truth: I'm good when I have all the ingredients, a glossy cookbook (with lots of pictures), multiple pans (for when I burn the first batch), an entire afternoon, the right apron and some inspiration (the food network does the trick). Meaning, I'm a great cook, once a year... always a on whim.
Lie #2: The worst pain I ever felt was a broken heart
Truth: The worst pain I ever felt was pulling all my neck muscles in grade 9 and having to wait a day before getting a brace. Broken hearts hurt when I think, pulled neck muscles hurt when I breathe. I can go without thinking.
Lie #3: I'm a great driver
Truth: This is sort of true. I'm great in the "I drive so slow even if I hit a grandmother she would be able to brush off the snow and shuffle away), but in terms of... "being aware" on the road, I suck. This is how I killed a duck and how big red became accessorized with all her scratches and dents.
Lie #4: I know a lot about Canadian politics
Truth: I just barely pass the 'citizenship test' that new immigrants into Canada have to take. I know this because I attempted to take it last night. The three branches of Canadian government? I could only name two. (The House of Commons and the Senate) The third? The Queen. But seriously, when's the last time she was mentioned without the name Helen Mirren attached?
Lie #5: I don't like cats
Truth: Liking cats and being single always seemed like the beginning of a joke that involved a punchline I wouldn't like. The truth is, I like cats. I like cats that like me. Of course I don't like cats as much as dogs, but I do like cats more than I like bunnies or goldfish, and that's saying something.
Lie #6: I believe absence makes the heart grow fonder
Truth: I believe absence makes the heart grow irritable, exhausted and (at times) cynical.
Lie #7: I have no regrets
Truth: I have huge, Grand Canyon regrets. Enough to fill a 10 story library with tattered journals, or displace all the water in the ocean or cover the rings of Saturn. I have regrets.
Lie #8: I remember.
Truth: I can't forget.
Lie #9: I find Ryan Seacrest unattractive
Truth: I'm not sure why, but admitting that I find him hugely appealing seems as wrong as saying you have a crush on your cousin. But there's something about the way he hugs all the contestants, manages to keep a straight face when they are truly horrible singers and the way he wears his jeans just right that makes me think I might love him. Or at least, given the opportunity, be best friends with him.
Lie #10: I'm a great dancer
Truth: Okay, that one is the truth. I am a great dancer.
I've decided that cooking is like speaking french, if you don't practice it you lose it and suddenly you find yourself angry that you told a lie to yourself that you still believed. And you can't decide if you're more annoyed that you kept telling yourself something that wasn't true, or that you so readily believed it.
I decided to make a list of the lies I tell myself and the truth (if any) that is hidden in them. This is what I found...
Lie #1: I am a great cook
Truth: I'm good when I have all the ingredients, a glossy cookbook (with lots of pictures), multiple pans (for when I burn the first batch), an entire afternoon, the right apron and some inspiration (the food network does the trick). Meaning, I'm a great cook, once a year... always a on whim.
Lie #2: The worst pain I ever felt was a broken heart
Truth: The worst pain I ever felt was pulling all my neck muscles in grade 9 and having to wait a day before getting a brace. Broken hearts hurt when I think, pulled neck muscles hurt when I breathe. I can go without thinking.
Lie #3: I'm a great driver
Truth: This is sort of true. I'm great in the "I drive so slow even if I hit a grandmother she would be able to brush off the snow and shuffle away), but in terms of... "being aware" on the road, I suck. This is how I killed a duck and how big red became accessorized with all her scratches and dents.
Lie #4: I know a lot about Canadian politics
Truth: I just barely pass the 'citizenship test' that new immigrants into Canada have to take. I know this because I attempted to take it last night. The three branches of Canadian government? I could only name two. (The House of Commons and the Senate) The third? The Queen. But seriously, when's the last time she was mentioned without the name Helen Mirren attached?
Lie #5: I don't like cats
Truth: Liking cats and being single always seemed like the beginning of a joke that involved a punchline I wouldn't like. The truth is, I like cats. I like cats that like me. Of course I don't like cats as much as dogs, but I do like cats more than I like bunnies or goldfish, and that's saying something.
Lie #6: I believe absence makes the heart grow fonder
Truth: I believe absence makes the heart grow irritable, exhausted and (at times) cynical.
Lie #7: I have no regrets
Truth: I have huge, Grand Canyon regrets. Enough to fill a 10 story library with tattered journals, or displace all the water in the ocean or cover the rings of Saturn. I have regrets.
Lie #8: I remember.
Truth: I can't forget.
Lie #9: I find Ryan Seacrest unattractive
Truth: I'm not sure why, but admitting that I find him hugely appealing seems as wrong as saying you have a crush on your cousin. But there's something about the way he hugs all the contestants, manages to keep a straight face when they are truly horrible singers and the way he wears his jeans just right that makes me think I might love him. Or at least, given the opportunity, be best friends with him.
Lie #10: I'm a great dancer
Truth: Okay, that one is the truth. I am a great dancer.
Friday, February 9, 2007
My life in music
If my life was a movie, it would be a musical. I practice the air guitar and dance in my office way too often for it not to be. I'm hoping my life would be classified as more romantic comedy and less of a tragedy. I would be okay with a comedic tragedy, but tragedy alone? C'mon, I'm too funny for that.
The movie of my life would also include a pirate, at least one telephone montage and a cameo by Vince Vaughn (I feel we could be bff, if only given the chance). Figuring out the soundtrack took some time but it's finished. I resisted the urge to pick 'cool songs', and really stuck to picking songs that I felt really fit the time. I even worked at putting the songs in chronological order, because I'm nerdy like that. So in this tidy list of 28 songs are a few heartbreaks, a few loves, the discovery that I have fantastic friends, the loss of home due to a raging fire, a 'wild streak' and the realization that I'm finally learning things I thought I already knew. Music snobs (this means you Matt), don't email and ask (and hope) that there are a few typo's, there are not. The Pussycat Dolls are actually there.
"We're going to be friends"-The White Stripes
"I feel pretty"- West Side Story
"Teenage Wasteland"- The Who
"Part of your world"- The Little Mermaid
"Time"- Chantal Kreviazuk
"Us"- Regina Spektor
"Uptown Girl"- Billy Joel
"If we're in love"- Roisin Murphy
"Hands Open"- Snow Patrol
"Slide"- Goo Goo Dolls
"Get off of my cloud"- The Rolling Stones
"Why Can't I?"- Liz Phair
"Untouchable Face"- Ani Difranco
"I don't need a man"- pussycat dolls
"Collide"- howie day
"I feel good"- James Brown
"Criminal"- Fiona Apple
"Honey and the Moon"- Joseph Arthur
"Don't think Twice, It's all right"- Bob Dylan
"The Old Apartment"- The Barenaked Ladies
"The City"- Joe Purdy
"Shake Ya Body"- Jay-Z
"Call and Answer"- The Barenaked Ladies
"Downtown"- Petula Clarke
"Comfortable"- John Mayer
"Everything"- Stero Fuse
"Something More"- Sugarland
"Wise Up"- Aimee Mann
The movie of my life would also include a pirate, at least one telephone montage and a cameo by Vince Vaughn (I feel we could be bff, if only given the chance). Figuring out the soundtrack took some time but it's finished. I resisted the urge to pick 'cool songs', and really stuck to picking songs that I felt really fit the time. I even worked at putting the songs in chronological order, because I'm nerdy like that. So in this tidy list of 28 songs are a few heartbreaks, a few loves, the discovery that I have fantastic friends, the loss of home due to a raging fire, a 'wild streak' and the realization that I'm finally learning things I thought I already knew. Music snobs (this means you Matt), don't email and ask (and hope) that there are a few typo's, there are not. The Pussycat Dolls are actually there.
"We're going to be friends"-The White Stripes
"I feel pretty"- West Side Story
"Teenage Wasteland"- The Who
"Part of your world"- The Little Mermaid
"Time"- Chantal Kreviazuk
"Us"- Regina Spektor
"Uptown Girl"- Billy Joel
"If we're in love"- Roisin Murphy
"Hands Open"- Snow Patrol
"Slide"- Goo Goo Dolls
"Get off of my cloud"- The Rolling Stones
"Why Can't I?"- Liz Phair
"Untouchable Face"- Ani Difranco
"I don't need a man"- pussycat dolls
"Collide"- howie day
"I feel good"- James Brown
"Criminal"- Fiona Apple
"Honey and the Moon"- Joseph Arthur
"Don't think Twice, It's all right"- Bob Dylan
"The Old Apartment"- The Barenaked Ladies
"The City"- Joe Purdy
"Shake Ya Body"- Jay-Z
"Call and Answer"- The Barenaked Ladies
"Downtown"- Petula Clarke
"Comfortable"- John Mayer
"Everything"- Stero Fuse
"Something More"- Sugarland
"Wise Up"- Aimee Mann
Monday, February 5, 2007
Brought to you by the letter "F"
So I've moved past my obsession with celebrity life (farewell glossy US Weekly and star sighting proving that they are "just like us!") and have discovered that reading other peoples blogs is highly entertaining and unusually comforting (knowing that a gal in New Jersey wants to wear sweat pants but just can't make herself because of how she feels when she wears them really hit home with me). Usually I lurk without commenting, but when I read this I had to reply. Those of you who know me, know that I enjoy anything that gives me a reason not to do actual work and I feel contemplating my views on the letter "F" clearly provides me with that opportunity.
This is how to change your life: Write ten words that start with the letter you are assigned and a brief description of why you chose that particular word. If you feel this might be something that you too would like to participate in to stall you from doing work, email me and I will give you a letter. And no, it won't be X.
The Letter F
1. Fanta: The greatest beverage of all time. If it was possible (and not highly disgusting) I would figure out a way to have an IV of it started up and permanently inserted into my arm. Fanta was also chosen because it's the only beverage (in 6-pack form) I carried in my already too-heavy backpack while traipsing across Europe. My love for it is strong and deep, like a river some might say.
2. Friday: My favourite day of the week.
3. Foosball: The one game that I can't seem to improve upon. I try to play angles and learn defensive strategies but I've come to the startling conclusion that the only time I win is when my opponent is drunk (or just, more drunk than me), or when we play partners and my partner is amazing. I could take my lumps and stay a horrible player, but that goes against everything I stand for. This is why I insist on playing whenever I see a table.
4. Faux: As in the only type of fur I can wear without getting the shivers. My mom is determined that I will jump on the 'fur bandwagon' and will one day express a strong desire to want to wear her old fur coats. I don't see the idea of wearing a dead carcass on my back fashionable, so the coats remain in storage.
5. "Fever": The one song it's not only cool but freaking mandatory to snap your fingers along to and sing with your eyes closed. (I'm partial to the Peggy Lee version)
6. Franck: The greatest character in "Father of the Bride". Don't get me wrong, Steve Martin is great but Martin Short makes me giggle every time.
7. Floss: I feel like I'm an adult because I take this seriously. I console myself with the fact that I still haven't boarded the train of 'mainstream boring adult' because the floss still needs to be flavored. Currently, I'm rocking mint.
8. "F!": The letter I yell out when I'm angry. Like, when I drop a paint can on my foot. However, if the paint can is full and I'm wearing open toed shoes I might elevate it to "fuck", but I prefer saying "f". It's funnier (and that's important when my foot is throbbing), plus I work with kids so I try not to get into the habit of dropping the f bomb- it shocks the kids into uncomfortable silence and leaves parents less than impressed. Trust me.
9. Fred Flintstone: I like playing Scattegories and you get double points when you list something/someone who has double the letter. So my gaming nature makes it necessary to include Fred. Another Fred Flintstone note, I must imitate his bowling move every time I'm at the bowling alley. It's official, I'm a dork.
10. Fate: An idea that keeps me up at night (even more than the idea of failure- another f word), watching Larry King reruns.
This is how to change your life: Write ten words that start with the letter you are assigned and a brief description of why you chose that particular word. If you feel this might be something that you too would like to participate in to stall you from doing work, email me and I will give you a letter. And no, it won't be X.
The Letter F
1. Fanta: The greatest beverage of all time. If it was possible (and not highly disgusting) I would figure out a way to have an IV of it started up and permanently inserted into my arm. Fanta was also chosen because it's the only beverage (in 6-pack form) I carried in my already too-heavy backpack while traipsing across Europe. My love for it is strong and deep, like a river some might say.
2. Friday: My favourite day of the week.
3. Foosball: The one game that I can't seem to improve upon. I try to play angles and learn defensive strategies but I've come to the startling conclusion that the only time I win is when my opponent is drunk (or just, more drunk than me), or when we play partners and my partner is amazing. I could take my lumps and stay a horrible player, but that goes against everything I stand for. This is why I insist on playing whenever I see a table.
4. Faux: As in the only type of fur I can wear without getting the shivers. My mom is determined that I will jump on the 'fur bandwagon' and will one day express a strong desire to want to wear her old fur coats. I don't see the idea of wearing a dead carcass on my back fashionable, so the coats remain in storage.
5. "Fever": The one song it's not only cool but freaking mandatory to snap your fingers along to and sing with your eyes closed. (I'm partial to the Peggy Lee version)
6. Franck: The greatest character in "Father of the Bride". Don't get me wrong, Steve Martin is great but Martin Short makes me giggle every time.
7. Floss: I feel like I'm an adult because I take this seriously. I console myself with the fact that I still haven't boarded the train of 'mainstream boring adult' because the floss still needs to be flavored. Currently, I'm rocking mint.
8. "F!": The letter I yell out when I'm angry. Like, when I drop a paint can on my foot. However, if the paint can is full and I'm wearing open toed shoes I might elevate it to "fuck", but I prefer saying "f". It's funnier (and that's important when my foot is throbbing), plus I work with kids so I try not to get into the habit of dropping the f bomb- it shocks the kids into uncomfortable silence and leaves parents less than impressed. Trust me.
9. Fred Flintstone: I like playing Scattegories and you get double points when you list something/someone who has double the letter. So my gaming nature makes it necessary to include Fred. Another Fred Flintstone note, I must imitate his bowling move every time I'm at the bowling alley. It's official, I'm a dork.
10. Fate: An idea that keeps me up at night (even more than the idea of failure- another f word), watching Larry King reruns.
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Love, love, love...
Valentines Day is approaching. Actually, I feel like it charging towards me in a blur of pink and red cellophane. I first noticed this the second week of January while at the mall searching for new mittens. Rows and rows of pink and red boxed chocolates, (enough to throw a diabetic into a seizure with a single glance), stuffed toys clutching hearts with stitched cliches and bouquets of roses were all crammed together in a shiny, blurry wonderland of love. It sort of made me nauseous.
As a kid I loved Valentines Day. I’m a craft dork, so the idea of using special scissors and thick construction paper to make cards for everyone I loved seemed not only fun but insanely exciting. I liked the idea of knowing there was one day a year it was expected to say exactly how you felt, the fact the world was smeared in pink and the discovery of who liked you by how they signed their name on their Valentine to you -From? Love? Always?.
I’ve kept valentines that meant something to me and as I look at them I realize that none are from recent boyfriends or guys I met after I got my drivers licence. They are all from a time before spell check and self doubt. My favorite one I received in grade three from a boy with messy blonde hair. It has glue smears on the front and the inside reads (in messy boy printing) “ I’m not 100% shure, but I think I might like you. I will let you know”. I miss that.
Now I feel like Valentine’s Day is the a holiday that truly divides mankind into two groups each unwilling to concede that the other group may be onto something. (Forget the war, it’s Valentine’s Day that’s splitting the world apart) There is the group who loves, loves, loves Valentines Day (and are unsurprisingly spending the day with someone they love, love, love) and the group who hates the holiday and views it as “just another opportunity by large corporations to make you feel like you need to buy shit you don’t need to show people you care” as one friend so eloquently put it. Of course, these are extremes I’ve noticed over the years so in a fit of Elle Woods inspired productivity; I went to the streets and asked the people. (Okay, so I mass emailed, it's cold outside.) Here is what I found…
My theory of the two opposing groups holds steady- sort of. The majority of coupled girls love the holiday. Not for the opportunity to show someone you love them (“I don’t need a day to tell my boyfriend I love him”) but because you like getting presents (“when else is it mandatory that I get flowers?”). I’m not going to lie, as a single girl I found this to be a disappointing discovery. You've found him! You shouldn't just expect flowers, you should go bowling and drink soda with straws! Seriously though, I may be single but I've dated enough to know that expecting things from a man to ground you in happiness will never lead to anything good. (Also, I'm now considering the fact that I may still be single because I think bowling and drinking soda constitutes romance.)
Coupled guys have other ideas. The majority doesn’t like the pressure it puts them under (“I hate knowing that she’s imagined something better than whatever I end up doing”). Fair enough. I love my gender but after talking to what some of the coupled girls are expecting… this Valentines, I would be wary too. Heads up ladies, none of you are getting proposed to on a glacier with a string orchestra in the background- at least none that I know of.
Single guys hate it because they think “that much attention to a holiday focused on flowers is stupid”. One insightful (and refreshingly honest) guy admitted that he didn’t like it Valentines Day because it made not being in love feel like he was failing.
Single girls seem to feel it’s necessary to show the world (and themselves) that they are not just okay but are thriving this holiday season by going out in large packs. High-heeled, low cut shirt armies that take over pubs and recount all the reasons they are glad they are single (#1 being you won’t be disappointed when your boyfriend forgets it’s Valentines Day). Some recounted these nights made them feel better, confirming they are not alone. Others admitted they felt worse and woke up with a hangover plus a few phone numbers of guys they would never have considered taking if they weren’t trying so hard to feel like they were happy alone.
In short, I guess no one is guaranteed a perfect Valentines Day regardless of your dating status. My friend Andy pointed out that Valentines is a lot like New Years. A lot of expectations with no guarantees it’s going to result in love, love, love. I suppose the best any of us can hope for is a construction paper Valentine from someone who tells you exactly how they feel- even if they are not 100% sure.
As a kid I loved Valentines Day. I’m a craft dork, so the idea of using special scissors and thick construction paper to make cards for everyone I loved seemed not only fun but insanely exciting. I liked the idea of knowing there was one day a year it was expected to say exactly how you felt, the fact the world was smeared in pink and the discovery of who liked you by how they signed their name on their Valentine to you -From? Love? Always?.
I’ve kept valentines that meant something to me and as I look at them I realize that none are from recent boyfriends or guys I met after I got my drivers licence. They are all from a time before spell check and self doubt. My favorite one I received in grade three from a boy with messy blonde hair. It has glue smears on the front and the inside reads (in messy boy printing) “ I’m not 100% shure, but I think I might like you. I will let you know”. I miss that.
Now I feel like Valentine’s Day is the a holiday that truly divides mankind into two groups each unwilling to concede that the other group may be onto something. (Forget the war, it’s Valentine’s Day that’s splitting the world apart) There is the group who loves, loves, loves Valentines Day (and are unsurprisingly spending the day with someone they love, love, love) and the group who hates the holiday and views it as “just another opportunity by large corporations to make you feel like you need to buy shit you don’t need to show people you care” as one friend so eloquently put it. Of course, these are extremes I’ve noticed over the years so in a fit of Elle Woods inspired productivity; I went to the streets and asked the people. (Okay, so I mass emailed, it's cold outside.) Here is what I found…
My theory of the two opposing groups holds steady- sort of. The majority of coupled girls love the holiday. Not for the opportunity to show someone you love them (“I don’t need a day to tell my boyfriend I love him”) but because you like getting presents (“when else is it mandatory that I get flowers?”). I’m not going to lie, as a single girl I found this to be a disappointing discovery. You've found him! You shouldn't just expect flowers, you should go bowling and drink soda with straws! Seriously though, I may be single but I've dated enough to know that expecting things from a man to ground you in happiness will never lead to anything good. (Also, I'm now considering the fact that I may still be single because I think bowling and drinking soda constitutes romance.)
Coupled guys have other ideas. The majority doesn’t like the pressure it puts them under (“I hate knowing that she’s imagined something better than whatever I end up doing”). Fair enough. I love my gender but after talking to what some of the coupled girls are expecting… this Valentines, I would be wary too. Heads up ladies, none of you are getting proposed to on a glacier with a string orchestra in the background- at least none that I know of.
Single guys hate it because they think “that much attention to a holiday focused on flowers is stupid”. One insightful (and refreshingly honest) guy admitted that he didn’t like it Valentines Day because it made not being in love feel like he was failing.
Single girls seem to feel it’s necessary to show the world (and themselves) that they are not just okay but are thriving this holiday season by going out in large packs. High-heeled, low cut shirt armies that take over pubs and recount all the reasons they are glad they are single (#1 being you won’t be disappointed when your boyfriend forgets it’s Valentines Day). Some recounted these nights made them feel better, confirming they are not alone. Others admitted they felt worse and woke up with a hangover plus a few phone numbers of guys they would never have considered taking if they weren’t trying so hard to feel like they were happy alone.
In short, I guess no one is guaranteed a perfect Valentines Day regardless of your dating status. My friend Andy pointed out that Valentines is a lot like New Years. A lot of expectations with no guarantees it’s going to result in love, love, love. I suppose the best any of us can hope for is a construction paper Valentine from someone who tells you exactly how they feel- even if they are not 100% sure.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Bits & Pieces
I had a conversation today that went something like this:
Me: I don’t really like nuts in salad. It seems wrong. Like putting relish on birthday cake.
T: Oh relish, I haven’t been able to have it since…
Me: Since when?
T: It’s a long story, but let’s just say I walked home missing my socks.
My everlasting fascination (re: prying obsession) into other peoples lives wanted to hear the story but time ran out (I was at work after all) and I missed hearing how one goes from underrated condiment to shoeless and hitchhiking. (Left to fill in the blanks, my mind imagined a story involving a plastic pool, donkeys, a pirate named Lubby and fireworks.) I realized that if I thought about my life, there were a million random bits and pieces- places, numbers, sayings and songs that reminded me of a stand-out, character shaping story that no one knew but me.
Quiche, tin foil, crazy carpeting, Davos, card games, fortune cookies, Charles Dickens, and a love for Russia each reminded me of good friends and insane activities- most of which would make my mother flush, or at least wring her hands like a dishtowel. I think the crazy carpeting tales would result in not only blushing, but also the asking “for the love of goodness, why?” repeatedly while wondering how it’s possible that we share DNA.
Filed under the category of “stupidity that still makes me blush”, I find the sharp memories of a paper hole punch, calamine lotion, my views on the ocean and Susan Sarandon. Dusty bottles of cooking wine, lemonade and my obsession with radio volume also make the cut and leave me shaking my head in both awe and amazement that I survived my youth in pursuit of misguided attempts at fun.
If I dig into the bank of “love or it’s cousins- lust and like”, I find myself immediately drawn to the thought of a math assignment. (Some memories fade, but I’m entirely convinced that one will stick with me forever.) My favourite pink sneakers, leather jackets, the smell of my mom’s laundry room and how it feels to wake up with the beach as your pillow, each also make me sigh with happiness.
Sorting through these bits and pieces and putting them in a category makes me understand why oatmeal cookies make me wistful, paper crowns still make me proud, and why I have a sneaking suspicion Seattle will always make me sad. The story I have of each, or more accurately- the story influenced by each, is more memorable than the actual item,- or place.
I glance around my office and wonder what random item found in here, what word I could say or song the radio could play that would prompt the people I know to divulge their own secret stories. Ones centered around relish and chaos, or South Bend Alabama and falling in love or a game of cricket and a sadness you’re not sure you will ever get over.
I imagine every story involves a pirate.
Me: I don’t really like nuts in salad. It seems wrong. Like putting relish on birthday cake.
T: Oh relish, I haven’t been able to have it since…
Me: Since when?
T: It’s a long story, but let’s just say I walked home missing my socks.
My everlasting fascination (re: prying obsession) into other peoples lives wanted to hear the story but time ran out (I was at work after all) and I missed hearing how one goes from underrated condiment to shoeless and hitchhiking. (Left to fill in the blanks, my mind imagined a story involving a plastic pool, donkeys, a pirate named Lubby and fireworks.) I realized that if I thought about my life, there were a million random bits and pieces- places, numbers, sayings and songs that reminded me of a stand-out, character shaping story that no one knew but me.
Quiche, tin foil, crazy carpeting, Davos, card games, fortune cookies, Charles Dickens, and a love for Russia each reminded me of good friends and insane activities- most of which would make my mother flush, or at least wring her hands like a dishtowel. I think the crazy carpeting tales would result in not only blushing, but also the asking “for the love of goodness, why?” repeatedly while wondering how it’s possible that we share DNA.
Filed under the category of “stupidity that still makes me blush”, I find the sharp memories of a paper hole punch, calamine lotion, my views on the ocean and Susan Sarandon. Dusty bottles of cooking wine, lemonade and my obsession with radio volume also make the cut and leave me shaking my head in both awe and amazement that I survived my youth in pursuit of misguided attempts at fun.
If I dig into the bank of “love or it’s cousins- lust and like”, I find myself immediately drawn to the thought of a math assignment. (Some memories fade, but I’m entirely convinced that one will stick with me forever.) My favourite pink sneakers, leather jackets, the smell of my mom’s laundry room and how it feels to wake up with the beach as your pillow, each also make me sigh with happiness.
Sorting through these bits and pieces and putting them in a category makes me understand why oatmeal cookies make me wistful, paper crowns still make me proud, and why I have a sneaking suspicion Seattle will always make me sad. The story I have of each, or more accurately- the story influenced by each, is more memorable than the actual item,- or place.
I glance around my office and wonder what random item found in here, what word I could say or song the radio could play that would prompt the people I know to divulge their own secret stories. Ones centered around relish and chaos, or South Bend Alabama and falling in love or a game of cricket and a sadness you’re not sure you will ever get over.
I imagine every story involves a pirate.
Friday, January 5, 2007
I shall....
I love the idea of New Year's resolutions. I love the idea of lists. I love the idea of using 'shall' in many sentences. Thus, this seems not only a good idea, but a necessity.
My 2007 To-Do List
1. I shall continue rocking my new bangs, my favourite jeans (complete with hole) and my side ponytail with complete abandon.
2. I shall make continue making Nancy Regan proud and "just say no" to: half hearted attempts at friendships with people who are jackpot tragedies, re-joining the Grey's Anatomy bandwagon and succumbing to the tasty (albeit dangerous) lure of The Olive Garden.
3. I shall eat more ants on a log. Peanut butter! Celery! Almonds! So good!
4. I shall start watching "The Wire", finish a Sudoku puzzle and will stop apologizing for loudly singing along to "Life is a Highway" any time it plays.
5. I shall not feel bad for needing confirmation that I will not die alone. I will also stop putting myself in a position where that thought even crosses my mind.
6. I shall stop worrying about Reese's happiness and consider my own. Unless of course, damning photos come out of Ryan and his rumored love Abby Cornish. Then, naturally, Reese's happiness will become a top priority.
7. I shall consider the possibility that me standing on one foot for 20 minutes, cheering with a toothbrush in my mouth is NOT the reason for Canada's world champion hockey victory.
8. I shall start memorizing all 1014 3-letter Scrabble words, but will also work on 'toning down' my obnoxious victory dance. (It's getting a bit.. out of hand)
9. According to my friends I have a problem with actually 'answering' my phone. So, I shall work on improving my 3/27 pick-up rate. That's just for you Darci.
10. I shall do more things that are good for me and less that are not. ( And I shall continue being as vague as possible when I'm too tired to go into details)
My 2007 To-Do List
1. I shall continue rocking my new bangs, my favourite jeans (complete with hole) and my side ponytail with complete abandon.
2. I shall make continue making Nancy Regan proud and "just say no" to: half hearted attempts at friendships with people who are jackpot tragedies, re-joining the Grey's Anatomy bandwagon and succumbing to the tasty (albeit dangerous) lure of The Olive Garden.
3. I shall eat more ants on a log. Peanut butter! Celery! Almonds! So good!
4. I shall start watching "The Wire", finish a Sudoku puzzle and will stop apologizing for loudly singing along to "Life is a Highway" any time it plays.
5. I shall not feel bad for needing confirmation that I will not die alone. I will also stop putting myself in a position where that thought even crosses my mind.
6. I shall stop worrying about Reese's happiness and consider my own. Unless of course, damning photos come out of Ryan and his rumored love Abby Cornish. Then, naturally, Reese's happiness will become a top priority.
7. I shall consider the possibility that me standing on one foot for 20 minutes, cheering with a toothbrush in my mouth is NOT the reason for Canada's world champion hockey victory.
8. I shall start memorizing all 1014 3-letter Scrabble words, but will also work on 'toning down' my obnoxious victory dance. (It's getting a bit.. out of hand)
9. According to my friends I have a problem with actually 'answering' my phone. So, I shall work on improving my 3/27 pick-up rate. That's just for you Darci.
10. I shall do more things that are good for me and less that are not. ( And I shall continue being as vague as possible when I'm too tired to go into details)
Friday, December 15, 2006
Germy
I'm sick. Again.
And instead of having a boyfriend who will make me soup and hold my germy hand and pass me kleenex when I sneeze with abandon, I am single and have a cat who stares at me.
And then leaves.
Which is fine. I don't want the cat to get sick. He's old.
I've decided to relish this opportunity and not feel bad for missing work, or skipping a chance to Christmas shop or continuing my law breaking scheme. Today is a day to watch movies with a rootbeer candy canes and an orange juice IV. And while my germy eyes scanned my humble movie collection I realized that while sick, stressed out, or tired, there are certain movies I will watch again and again.
These include:
- Good Will Hunting (Fav Quote: "... and let me save you the suspense, this girl you've met she's not perfect either."- the idea of not having to be perfect comforts me when I'm wearing sweats, with itchy eyes and a runny nose)
- Say Anything (Fav Quote: "I am looking for a dare to be great situation." OR "The rain on my car is a baptism, the new me, Ice Man, Power Lloyd, my assault on the world begins now". Because anyone who refers to himself as Ice Man is cool in my books.)
- Sweet Home Alabama (Fav Quote: "Like I could tip a cow BY MYSELF!"- because I completely understand where she is coming from. It's ... impossible.)
- Garden State (Fav Quote: "I'm okay with being unimpressive. I sleep better")
- JFK (I don't have one, but I do appreciate how serious Kevin Costner can look in those glasses)
- Rounders (Fav Quote: "If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker"-or pretty much anything said by Teddy KGB)
- When A Man Loves a Woman (It's not about the words, it's about Andy's eyes. I'm swooning.)
- Bottle Rocket (Fav Quote: "I don't think your happiness is quite appropriate" or " We almost did it, didn't we?"
- National Treasure (Fav Quote:"We have to steal the Declaration of Independence!!". I wish I was joking about this movie but I must come clean. I'd like to think I'm drawn to it for it's references to American history, but, it could also be Nic's ability to both squint and growl at the same time. Nicholas Cage just sucks me in like a black hole.)
Feel free to drop off soup. Or presents. Or soup and presents.
And instead of having a boyfriend who will make me soup and hold my germy hand and pass me kleenex when I sneeze with abandon, I am single and have a cat who stares at me.
And then leaves.
Which is fine. I don't want the cat to get sick. He's old.
I've decided to relish this opportunity and not feel bad for missing work, or skipping a chance to Christmas shop or continuing my law breaking scheme. Today is a day to watch movies with a rootbeer candy canes and an orange juice IV. And while my germy eyes scanned my humble movie collection I realized that while sick, stressed out, or tired, there are certain movies I will watch again and again.
These include:
- Good Will Hunting (Fav Quote: "... and let me save you the suspense, this girl you've met she's not perfect either."- the idea of not having to be perfect comforts me when I'm wearing sweats, with itchy eyes and a runny nose)
- Say Anything (Fav Quote: "I am looking for a dare to be great situation." OR "The rain on my car is a baptism, the new me, Ice Man, Power Lloyd, my assault on the world begins now". Because anyone who refers to himself as Ice Man is cool in my books.)
- Sweet Home Alabama (Fav Quote: "Like I could tip a cow BY MYSELF!"- because I completely understand where she is coming from. It's ... impossible.)
- Garden State (Fav Quote: "I'm okay with being unimpressive. I sleep better")
- JFK (I don't have one, but I do appreciate how serious Kevin Costner can look in those glasses)
- Rounders (Fav Quote: "If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker"-or pretty much anything said by Teddy KGB)
- When A Man Loves a Woman (It's not about the words, it's about Andy's eyes. I'm swooning.)
- Bottle Rocket (Fav Quote: "I don't think your happiness is quite appropriate" or " We almost did it, didn't we?"
- National Treasure (Fav Quote:"We have to steal the Declaration of Independence!!". I wish I was joking about this movie but I must come clean. I'd like to think I'm drawn to it for it's references to American history, but, it could also be Nic's ability to both squint and growl at the same time. Nicholas Cage just sucks me in like a black hole.)
Feel free to drop off soup. Or presents. Or soup and presents.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Flair: 2007 Style
Little Known Fact: I was in Brownies
I started out as a mere pixie but worked my way up to full Brownie status in record time because I hated not wearing the sash and having a chance to wear badges. Why? Badges = Flair
Even at an early age, flair was important to me. And although I no longer remember most of the badges I earned (other than a cutthroat game of lawn bowling that gave me the bowling badge and my cake baking badge that would have made Martha Stewart squeal with glee), I still like the idea of showing off your talents through badges. Or... as I call them, flair.
Which got me thinking. As we get older, the obstacles we surmount and the goals we reach become even bigger, so where is the flair now? There are definite achievements and battles I've had to overcome that I feel are completely badge worthy and should be showcased on some ultra hip sash-like accessory.
These Include:
- learning how to cha-cha in Spain
- surviving a really bad break-up (notice the 'really')
- explaining to my college students why theatre makes them better people when they all just want to go for a smoke
- teaching my ma how to do a tequila shot in Mexico
- discovering the perfect sentence to whisper
- backpacking up an Italian *mountain while fighting mono
- letting it go (it? Him?)
- speaking at a funeral, playing a musical instrument at a wedding and holding a baby without dropping it
- moving a too big couch into a too small elevator (unless you've attempted it, you have no idea)
- not always asking 'what if?'
- baking the worlds best cookie
- possibly liking cats
Still on my flair list (it sounds a lot more hip than 'to-do'): becoming a skilled snorkler, understanding how to do my taxes, learning how to catch a baseball and becoming modest.
Can we ditch the brown cotton sash with the gold piping though? I'm thinking they could be improved...
* Erin, it was a mountain.
I started out as a mere pixie but worked my way up to full Brownie status in record time because I hated not wearing the sash and having a chance to wear badges. Why? Badges = Flair
Even at an early age, flair was important to me. And although I no longer remember most of the badges I earned (other than a cutthroat game of lawn bowling that gave me the bowling badge and my cake baking badge that would have made Martha Stewart squeal with glee), I still like the idea of showing off your talents through badges. Or... as I call them, flair.
Which got me thinking. As we get older, the obstacles we surmount and the goals we reach become even bigger, so where is the flair now? There are definite achievements and battles I've had to overcome that I feel are completely badge worthy and should be showcased on some ultra hip sash-like accessory.
These Include:
- learning how to cha-cha in Spain
- surviving a really bad break-up (notice the 'really')
- explaining to my college students why theatre makes them better people when they all just want to go for a smoke
- teaching my ma how to do a tequila shot in Mexico
- discovering the perfect sentence to whisper
- backpacking up an Italian *mountain while fighting mono
- letting it go (it? Him?)
- speaking at a funeral, playing a musical instrument at a wedding and holding a baby without dropping it
- moving a too big couch into a too small elevator (unless you've attempted it, you have no idea)
- not always asking 'what if?'
- baking the worlds best cookie
- possibly liking cats
Still on my flair list (it sounds a lot more hip than 'to-do'): becoming a skilled snorkler, understanding how to do my taxes, learning how to catch a baseball and becoming modest.
Can we ditch the brown cotton sash with the gold piping though? I'm thinking they could be improved...
* Erin, it was a mountain.
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
10 Lessons Learned From the Chicks I Know
It seems people read blogs, but instead of leaving comments, they email you directly to complain about what they don't like. Or better yet, they call you. (The 'better yet' isn't sarcasm, I'm bored out of my tree at work.) I have decided that in the fairness of all the lovely chicks I know to give them their own list...
1. How to chug a beer (classy, I know)
2. When to stop talking.
3. Two words: false eyelashes.
4. How to catch a gopher.
5. Soccer moms are hot.
6. How to run in high heels.
7. "It's difficult to do anything but love someone when that's exactly how you feel"
8. I could not date a man named Destiny.
9. Nothing happens if you don't show up.
10. Tequila makes me want to dance.
Everything else I learned from Mr. Dressup, National Geographic magazines, Martha Stewart, late night tv, or through the painful experience of trial and error.
1. How to chug a beer (classy, I know)
2. When to stop talking.
3. Two words: false eyelashes.
4. How to catch a gopher.
5. Soccer moms are hot.
6. How to run in high heels.
7. "It's difficult to do anything but love someone when that's exactly how you feel"
8. I could not date a man named Destiny.
9. Nothing happens if you don't show up.
10. Tequila makes me want to dance.
Everything else I learned from Mr. Dressup, National Geographic magazines, Martha Stewart, late night tv, or through the painful experience of trial and error.
10 Lessons Learned From The Men I Know
1. You can never have too much hot sauce.
2. If you want something- initiate it.
3. Why it’s important to have transmission fluid checked.
4. How to not punch like a girl.
5. Sweats can be beautiful.
6. How to grout.
7. They don't know what they are doing either.
8. How to spit.
9. Regrets don’t equal mistakes.
10. I hold my breath when I sleep.
2. If you want something- initiate it.
3. Why it’s important to have transmission fluid checked.
4. How to not punch like a girl.
5. Sweats can be beautiful.
6. How to grout.
7. They don't know what they are doing either.
8. How to spit.
9. Regrets don’t equal mistakes.
10. I hold my breath when I sleep.
Sunday, December 3, 2006
Wanted: Island Commrade
I’m in desperate need of distractions. If my ‘fight mode’ is avoidance, my current way of dealing with life in general may be classified the same. However, that doesn’t sound healthy so let’s stick with ‘needing distractions’.
In the spirit of keeping myself busying with mindless activities, I started doing yet another email survey that some clueless sap sent to me. It was pretty mundane and my clever wit can only creatively answer the question “vanilla or chocolate?” so many times. Surprisingly however was #11. Seriously, out of no where was this question. Like a diamond in the rough. Okay, that’s definitely stretching it, but it’s better than trying to defend a flavor of ice cream.
11. If you could take one person, one book, one piece of technology, one article of clothing, one CD, one object of sentimental value and 3 pieces of survival gear with you to live on a deserted island for six months, what would be your choices?
Okay, so I have to admit, I've thought of answers for each aspect of the question but my person, my deserted island comrade, is faceless. I have decided that listing the characteristics might help me narrow it down. I hate not knowing ahead of time, because what if this was to actually happen? And I had three seconds to make a choice? I need to know who I would take! On to the specifics....
1. This person must be male between the ages of 25-35- based purely on the fact that men in that category would be stronger than men or women in any other age category. And because he and I would probably have a lot in common- which is important in deserted island scenarios. Oh, and I feel strongly that this person should be a stranger. If I went with someone I knew, well... if we didn't get along, or the stress of the island brought out the worst in us, it could ruin the friendship. I know. I'm thoughtful.
2. Also, I require….someone who can do long division in their head (I would just find that fun to watch)
3. I prefer non-smokers. I envision a smoker getting angry when they go through with drawls on the island. And really, I don't want this trip to be marred by nursing someone back from the dark side.
4. He needs to be able to make sun dials and keep me posted on the time (why this is important I’m not sure. I just feel that it is)
5. Someone who understands that I am not a morning person (because if they didn’t understand that, our island experience might not be as lovely as it could be…) is absolutely necessary.
6. It's important that he has some medical training so if I cut my foot they would know what to do and would do it in the manner of "serious-yet-determined-doctor, similar to Dr. Jack on "Lost".
7. He must enjoy playing games such as "I spy", "Scrabble" and "20 Questions" (And for those of you wondering how I would get Scrabble on the deserted island, it's one of my three 'survival gear' items)
8. It would be a plus if he could wrestle a shark, catch fish and know a lot about building huts. Or at the very least, fashion a hammock out of island debris.
9. It's important that he doesn't tire of me asking questions (such as.. "what time does the sundial say now?")
10. Someone not named Wilson. It would just be weird.
In the spirit of keeping myself busying with mindless activities, I started doing yet another email survey that some clueless sap sent to me. It was pretty mundane and my clever wit can only creatively answer the question “vanilla or chocolate?” so many times. Surprisingly however was #11. Seriously, out of no where was this question. Like a diamond in the rough. Okay, that’s definitely stretching it, but it’s better than trying to defend a flavor of ice cream.
11. If you could take one person, one book, one piece of technology, one article of clothing, one CD, one object of sentimental value and 3 pieces of survival gear with you to live on a deserted island for six months, what would be your choices?
Okay, so I have to admit, I've thought of answers for each aspect of the question but my person, my deserted island comrade, is faceless. I have decided that listing the characteristics might help me narrow it down. I hate not knowing ahead of time, because what if this was to actually happen? And I had three seconds to make a choice? I need to know who I would take! On to the specifics....
1. This person must be male between the ages of 25-35- based purely on the fact that men in that category would be stronger than men or women in any other age category. And because he and I would probably have a lot in common- which is important in deserted island scenarios. Oh, and I feel strongly that this person should be a stranger. If I went with someone I knew, well... if we didn't get along, or the stress of the island brought out the worst in us, it could ruin the friendship. I know. I'm thoughtful.
2. Also, I require….someone who can do long division in their head (I would just find that fun to watch)
3. I prefer non-smokers. I envision a smoker getting angry when they go through with drawls on the island. And really, I don't want this trip to be marred by nursing someone back from the dark side.
4. He needs to be able to make sun dials and keep me posted on the time (why this is important I’m not sure. I just feel that it is)
5. Someone who understands that I am not a morning person (because if they didn’t understand that, our island experience might not be as lovely as it could be…) is absolutely necessary.
6. It's important that he has some medical training so if I cut my foot they would know what to do and would do it in the manner of "serious-yet-determined-doctor, similar to Dr. Jack on "Lost".
7. He must enjoy playing games such as "I spy", "Scrabble" and "20 Questions" (And for those of you wondering how I would get Scrabble on the deserted island, it's one of my three 'survival gear' items)
8. It would be a plus if he could wrestle a shark, catch fish and know a lot about building huts. Or at the very least, fashion a hammock out of island debris.
9. It's important that he doesn't tire of me asking questions (such as.. "what time does the sundial say now?")
10. Someone not named Wilson. It would just be weird.
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