First of all, thanks for all the letters. I haven't been getting a lot of actual hold-in-my-hands-golly-gee-it's-for-me mail lately, so getting repeated envelopes addressed to me has been exciting.
I love that you are so excited to give me a credit card. All the exclamation points seem to indicate an abundance of real joy over this opportunity or a maniac sugar rush, either way- it's contagious! Guaranteed! Low Interest Rate! Pre-Approved! I almost expect a smiley face at the end of each. Maybe that's something you are working on?
And can I just say that I love that I'm pre-approved? Knowing that you like me already without ever talking to me or knowing anything about me makes me feel really good. I mean, this world is so crazy now and everyone is getting judged on how witty their bon mots are, or how sci-fi their sneakers look, or what kind of job they have yet you managed to skip all that nonsense and approve me based just on me. And that's a nice feeling. If only there were more like you Citibank, the world would be in a better place.
I also really am in love with all the different templates of credit cards you have, I have to admit they are a great signing up feature. Though I'm partial to the ladybug design, I'm not sure it's a right fit. Don't get me wrong, I love ladybugs, and I like the idea of my credit card showing that I'm intune with nature but I have a feeling that I would get tired of the lady bug. And although I do love being Canadian, the credit card covered with maple leafs isn't quite right for me either. Perhaps the mysterious plain black card would work- it reminds me of the story I heard about Jessica Simpson and her black Mastercard that apparently has no limit. If we could work out a similar deal, I think I could find time to fill out the form.
While others groan at finding yet another letter from you in their mailbox, I'm charmed at your repeated attempts. I admit it- I'm a sucker for persistence. Whether it's a credit card company or a man I should stay away from, not giving up usually means I give in. Oh, and I especially appreciate that the president of the whole Citibank shebang has taken the time to actually sign my letter. I mean, from what I gather from the website you citibank folk are pretty busy, so I appreciate the extra touches you guys are putting in. And can you pass along to him that I love his penmanship so thoughtfully displayed in his signature?
Sadly however, I don't want another credit card. I won't try and sugarcoat this since I've already called and told you. I just feel like one card is enough. And I know, I know, I should be wanting another one because I'm young and reckless and every store is putting out their spring line, but Citibank- I have to stay strong. I feel we've gotten quite close with all the recent mail and phone calls but I'm asking you to now be a good friend and support my choice. Maybe try me again in a year. Perhaps then I will be in desperate need of a card that shows my love of the maple leaf. But not today Citbank, not today.
If you want though, you can still keep sending me the letter. Like I said, the mails been a bit slow and I like finding things addressed to me. Plus, all the exclamation marks boost my mood.