Drumroll for the answers...
1. I got a real pony named Simon for my 5th birthday. When my parents sold him, they told me he ran away. I believed this story until my cousin accidentally told me the truth when I was 18.
TRUE: I know. Totally awesome. Sometimes I get sad thinking that the greatest moment of my life happened when I was 5 years old, but I keep dropping hints that I want another pony for my 30th birthday. I'll keep you all posted if I get it. Oh, and the reason why my parents sold Simon- he jumped the fence when I was on him and was deemed 'unsafe'. And yes, I was irrationally angry when I found out that he didn't run away. You have no idea the kind of guilt that a girl feels when her pony "runs away".
2. I once broke my foot break dancing at a wedding. And because I didn't get fitted with the right cast, the side of my foot is curved, a bit like a banana.
TRUE: Although I have no idea how to dance, two years ago at a wedding I was pretty sure I would be a pro at "the worm". Witnesses say the first thing that hit the ground was my face. I kept dancing despite the pain in my leg, and only sat down when a friend kicked me in the head accidentally while attempting a new dance move. Two days later, I found out I broke my foot in three spots. I had my teaching practicum and because it was my driving foot I spent the next 2 1/2 months riding the LRT to the closest stop and then hobbling in the deep snow to the school, where an awful child would step on it every time he got mad at me. And because it didn't heal right, I should get it re broken and set. But I'm a chicken. Maybe if I got a new pony I would be brave enough?
3. I own 63 pairs of shoes and they are color coded.
LIE: Although I love shoes, the housefire incident of 2005 flatlined my entire shoe collection. I have no idea how many pairs I have, but I know I don't have 63. And Beth, seriously... you have them on your PC? That's genius!
4. I backpacked Europe with a serious case of mono and a backpack that weighed more than half of what I did.
TRUE: I found out I had "severe mono" after I had bought my plane ticket. I went anyway and had the time of my life. We landed in Frankfurt and I spent an entire ten hour layover in a mono-induced coma, with my good friend and travel partner watching my things. It got easier as the trip went on but the first few days were rocky. I came back with a lighter backpack- I left sweaters, t-shirts and socks all over Europe... more room for fanta!
5. I once stumbled across a working girl giving a blow job to a guy in a park. I didn't see what they were doing but introduced myself and extended my hand before I realized. She wiped her mouth, shook my hand and then because I didn't want to be rude, shook the guys hand too.
TRUE: There's really not anything else I can say...
Congratulations 'accidentally me'. I will be thinking of giving you a new car for the rest of the day. You deserve it!
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3 comments:
So I may very well have close to that. But they are not color coded. I am lucky they are all organized and stacked in boxes...
I'm afraid to count how many pairs of shoes I own.. I mean, this weekend alone I purchased 3 new pairs and that is in no way an uncommon weekend for me!
I would like to thank the academy, and all the people that voted for me. And my publicist...I couldn't have done it without you!!!
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