My Greatest Hits

Brace yourselves.

I've got big news.

Blogger has informed me that this is my 100th post. Cue confetti, start up the marching band and get those batons twirling!

To celebrate this momentous occasion, I considered a massive celebration complete with new sparkly shoes (any reason is a good reason to shoe shop). I thought everyone should take the day off work, and write poetry about how great I am. Perhaps those artistically inclined could make me some art, those who enjoy astronomy could name a star after me. Someone would find some elephants for us to ride around on (not circus animals, but wild elephants who are just wanting to give rides for fun) and cotton candy would fall from the sky like raindrops.

However, this seemed a tad impractical, so I saved you all the trouble of planning an elaborate party and have instead complied my ten favourite posts. They weren't always the ones that got a lot (if any) of hits from other readers but I consider them my greatest. If there is to be no parade, at least I will make this post all about me. I kid. Sort of.

1. Because that's how I roll...

2. Flair: 2007 Style

3. Garbage Day with the Hendersons

4. So this is what it's like

5. My lips are sealed

6. Under My Skin

7. X + Y + Z = I'm a rock star

8. Charmed, I'm sure

9. When a good run can break your heart

10. 20/20 Talk



Oh, and those are my shoes. The picture is a bit dodgy and you don't see the great heel but that's all I've got people. (Oh, and the jeans rolled up? That's 4 drinks in and suddenly I feel that people NEED to see the shoes more CLEARLY). But seriously. Shoes that great under $20? They were practically free!

On a completely different note I'm just finishing up my last few books and am looking for some good reads. Please share your suggestions!

I got kidnapped too!

Actually, I didn't get kidnapped. But Ruby tagged me to do this, and she got kidnapped and I was just trying to outdo her. Why? Because at first I thought there was nothing interesting left for me to say about myself since, I succumbed to pressure and wrote out this, and then.. this. But, then I thought to myself 'self, you ARE entertaining and there is MUCH the world doesn't know about you, so do it! And do it well!'. Hence,

FIVE Things You Don't Know About Me

1. I'm a reading dork.
Now, I'm a teacher so I promote reading all the time. It makes you smarter! It expands your vocabulary! All the cool kids are doing it!, but the difference between being an avid reader and being a reading dork is what you read and how often. I've made no excuses to hide the fact that I'm not so secretly in love with Bob Woodward. I have, however, recently discovered a new lusty-like feeling for George. If I just enjoyed the good political book that would be fine, but I like to sprinkle them in between re-reading Harry Potter for clues to what will happen in Book 7. Because, I think I'm going to find all the answers by re-reading the end of book 6, oh, 4789 times. (And to further hammer the dork point, I will admit that I got panicked thinking I wouldn't get Book 7 the day it came out, so I pre-ordered and then asked what time the store opened so I wouldn't be waiting in line until my 35th birthday). And if that still didn't prove how much I loved reading, when I was 9 years old I told my brother that I loved books so much I wished I could eat the pages so they would always be inside me. Okay, I said that when I was like, 14. Okay... like 22. He still makes fun of me for it.

2. I'm anti-"blog"
I hate the word blog. Because it rhymes with my two least favourite words- slob and glob. The word 'Blog' makes me think of old sweatpants that smell like sour milk and spray cheese smeared on the side of someones face. I prefer the term 'Post', as in "I posted about Ohio". To me, "post" implies that I typed while wearing creamy white gloves while sipping chamomile out of a dainty teacup adorned with hand painted buttercups. I've never actually typed while wearing gloves, or drank tea out of an actual teacup with saucer (I prefer comfy pants and a juice box), but the idea of it makes me feel better.

3. I've lived in a tent
Not permanently. But, growing up my dad's hobby required travelling every summer, so each year from June to August, my family would travel all over Western Canada. And because for the entire summer we lived in our holiday trailer, and as much as I love my family a girl needs some space- I took to sleeping in a tent.
Every night. Every summer. For ten years. (And for this sacrifice, my parents rewarded me with a very cool tent of my choosing for each summer. To this day, I get ridiculously excited when I see the tents up at Costco for you to buy)

4. I like hospitals
I suspect the reason I like them is because when I'm there it's me in the hospital and not anyone else. If I knew someone who was always in the hospital, I suppose I would detest them with the same fury that Paris would shun polyester. But, because it's me, I enjoy them. When I'm there overnight, I love the blankets they give you with just enough scratch to exfoliate (too bad they didn't smell like this) your body and dim lights- dark enough to make you sleepy, not enough to make you scared. I get blood taken a lot (mostly, to just re-confirm the fact that the blood I do have is bad), and doctors waiting rooms make me feel just as good. I like reading all the old Housekeeping magazines that give me quilting advice or tips on making meatloaf. Perhaps the reason I like hospitals and waiting rooms is because I know neither is permanent.

5. I'm always gettin' lucky
When it comes to winning contests, or getting money for doing nothing, I'm always getting lucky. The last contest I entered and then forgot about, I won. First place. Hundreds of dollars in gift certificates to the mall, new sunglasses and two tickets to a three day outdoor concert. When I was in university I applied for this obscure funding option based on the fact that my grandmothers grandmother was Native, and I got my last year of tuition/books/rent paid for. Plus a healthy spending allowance. And even now, I get random cheques from the government and I have no idea why.

And now you are fully in the know about me. Oh, one more thing... I'm trying to update my blogro-, er, postroll, so if I don't have you would you just leave a comment so I can keep track of everyone I need to add?

100

I'm a big fan of conformity. In fact, I don't think there is enough in the world. Too many people are trying to be original and that's a shame. Conforming is comforting. I mean, show me a person who hasn't had a good time following their friends off a bridge and I will show you a liar. Thus, when I started noticing every freaking blogger has listed a 100 things about them I jumped on the bandwagon (and off the metaphoric bridge).

Conforming- it's just one more way to fit in.

1. I was born August 22nd, 1981- at night. I don't know the specific time and my mom can't remember. This bothers me immensely.
2. I think the juice box may be one of the world's greatest inventions
3. Buying stationary gives me a high.
4. My favorite fruit is oranges, I do not like strawberries.
5. I want to visit Rhode Island, Ireland, Prague and Madrid. I do not want to go to Las Vegas.
6. My grade school bus driver was English and loved to sing to Annie Lennox in the mornings.
7. My favourite 'kid friendly' joke involves pirates and movie ratings.
8. "Whoo ha!" (channeling Al Pacino) is my favourite thing to yell when I'm excited
9. I can play the 'Flintstones' theme song on the piano. With my eyes closed.
10. I'm much more productive in the summer, which further proves my theory that I am solar powered.

11. I think Janet Jackson is overrated. Joseph Arthur is underrated.
12. I have my blue swimming badge.
13. I believe that "I'm sorry" always sounds better than " I apologize"
14. I do not own a Jack Johnson cd.
15. I prefer Cat Stevens to Sheryl Crow, but I would not like to be named Cat.
16. I wear 2 toe rings.
17. i can do the robot
18. When I don't think I've explained myself as clearly as I could have, I bite my lip and shake my head.
19. Peonies are my favorite flower
20. I am excellent at roulette.

21. I'm excellent at talking without saying anything.
22. i do not like white food. Or bacon.
23. i like extremely violent weather.
24. i always fall asleep on road trips.
25. John Krasinski is today's top 5, 1-5. Always.
26. i like the smell of the light blue mr.sketch marker.
27. i do not know how to work fax machines
28. i played my recorder at my friends wedding. Because she asked me to and I'm cool like that.
29. I like crushed ice, not cubed.
30. When I substitute, teachers have confused me with a student and have reprimanded me in the hall for not being in class. Sometimes I tell them I'm teaching. When I'm tired I just nod.

31. "Baby It's Cold Outside" by Frank Sinatra is my favorite Christmas carol
32. I am very bad at: time management, hitting a baseball, keeping track of my keys and driving a standard.
33. I must always be singing while I drive.
34. My favorite mode of transportation is train.
35. Kirstin Dunst is my least favorite person on the planet for reasons I do not understand.
36. I like the name Jack.
37. American History was my favorite academic subject.
38. I once got 17% on a midterm and my professor wrote 'good improvement'. And he was serious. It was.
39. I once was walking and got hit by a car.
40. Pineapple juice is my favorite beverage derived from a fruit.

41. "The Office" is my favorite television show.
42. I once held a job that required me to wear an oxygen tank and full protective gear.
43. i do not believe at love at first sight.
44. Sometimes I take the bruised fruit at the grocery store because I don't think anyone else will.
45. I believe in karma
46. Zoos make me sad.
47. I get carsick.
48. i admire kids who don't listen, unless I am teaching them.
49. I like cats, against my better judgement.
50. I like green apples, I do not like red.

51. The previews are my favourite part of the movie theatre experience.
52. I believe that songs on the radio come on as direct signs to me
53. I've stolen karaoke books and tongue depressors. I have never shoplifted.
54. My principal once chased me all through the school after an argument. Does it make it worse when I say I was in grade 9?
55. When at the public library and I see a book I read and loved, I will pull it out on the shelf a little more so it stands out. Librarians must hate me.
56. I am an excellent public speaker
57. Water skiing scares the crap out of me.
58. March Madness is my favorite sporting event of the year.
59. I like the aisle seat.
60. My least productive time of day is morning.

61. I like leaving phone messages, but hate the sound of my voice.
62. Bottle Rocket is one of the greatest movies of all time. This is not opinion- this is fact.
63. I get mad when I think that I can't vote to chose the next President.
64. Blue freezies are the best.
65. My worst date involved a man who refused to stop at red lights.
66. I really like airplane magazines
67. I get a lot of parking tickets
68. My favorite color is yellow
69. 384 is my highest Scrabble score, my favourite Scrabble word to write is squirrel.
70. I get irrationally angry when I watch "City of Angels"

71. I do not know my license plate number.
72. I'm currently teaching myself French. I've mastered 'hello' and 'poutine'. I think I'm set.
73. I regularly think of who would be my "phone a friend" if I ever was on "Who wants to be a millionaire?"
74. I like grape pop, but can't remember the last time I had enough guts to buy it.
75. I do not find painting pottery relaxing.
76. I cheat at Solitaire.
77. I believe Alex Trebeck is one of the only people on the planet who looks better with a mustache.
78. I judge books by their cover.
79. There is something about Kevin Costner that forces me to stare at him.
80. I like watching sporting events only for the opportunity to yell loudly.

81. I broke my fingers playing basketball in grade 8 and my teacher didn't believe me and had me keep playing. It was only when I started crying I got to sit out.
82. I dislike haircutting services with lame names like 'hair4u!' or 'hair today, gone tomorrow!', or 'hairisma!'.
83. If people were parts of a magic trick, I would be the turn. And I'm happy about that.
84. I get scared when I think about JK Rowling ever dying before the last book gets released.
85. Ronald McDonald once picked me to be his special magician helper on stage.
86. I like lego. Still.
87. Escalators make me nervous
88. If I don't know what to say, I will say 'thank you'. Even if it doesn't make sense. Usually when it doesn't make sense.
89. My zodiac profile says I'm cunning.
90. I can't open my eyes under water.

91. I'm allergic to beer. This is my burden.
92. "Later" is my least favorite way of saying goodbye
93. I am excellent at putting electronics together
94. I do not like to eat eggs cooked by other people
95. When I doodle, I always draw people. And shoes. And jars.
96. I do not like to text in short form: I feel bad writing "ur" instead of "your" or "you're"
97. My toothbrush is orange.
98. I have been in love a few times but my heart has only been broken twice- and both times it was worth it.
99. i like roasting marshmallows, I do not like eating them.
100. George is my favourite Beatle, but I'm most like John.

Does anyone....?

Does anyone else ever imagine what the six Jeopardy categories they would most like to have if they were on the show? I think about this regularly and think I have mine narrowed down:

1. Books (preferably books by Melissa Banks or Bob Woodward)
2. Scrabble ( I really think I would do well in this. Probably because when I can't sleep I chose words and try to calcuate their scores. Wow. If I wasn't so awesome I would be a huge nerd.)
3. The Bush Administration (I'm not a fan, I just like reading about it)
4. Sex and the City or The Office (it feels wrong to have tv consume two categories, so I would be happy with either one.)
5. Places that start with "R" or movies starring John Cusack
6. Usless celebrity knowledge

Does anyone else feel that the Barack/Hillary debate is dangerous when people say things like "It's time a woman was president" or "it's time a black person was president", without saying a single comment about where each of them stand on important issues facing the States? Don't get me wrong, although I don't live in the States, I see myself more of a Democrat than Republican, but voting for someone because of what they look like seems just as bad as not voting for someone because of what they look like.

Also, does anyone else feel that there are backup singers on American Idol who should be contestants and contestants who should be back up singers?

And am I the only one who feels just really sad for Britney now? And then, sad that I feel so worried about someone I don't know?

I'm just curious.