Lately I've begun wondering if the last-minuteness of my life is necessary.
I'm that girl who started cracking my textbook the week of finals, who drinks the last sludge of milk in the carton that smells iffy because she hasn't gone to the store, who always gets the 'guaranteed or it's free!' coupon from blockbuster because I only rent movies at 11pm after everyone else has picked up all the 'two thumbs up' releases.
I started thinking about this, my love of procrastination, this past week. I've been on holidays (more stories of me, piano bars and 3am mass emails about my love for Oasis to come in future postings), and have had a lot of free time. Like, I can put lotion on my legs and wait for it to dry before getting dressed, sort of time. And honestly, it's weirding me out.
I kept going to sleep rolling through everything that I thought I had to do, should be doing, or was late doing. Because, the thing with procrastination is the rush of adrenaline that comes with it. The addicting metallic pulse that comes from realizing you could fail and if you did, it would be only your own fault.
I love that feeling.
I'm the queen of procrastination, a wizard at wasting time, a true master at the art of doing nothing. Which would make you think spending a holiday doing nothing would be enjoyable, and something I would relish. But I'm realizing that I work best when I have a looming deadline, because then I will fill up all my time with making myself busying doing something else. Having nothing to do, makes me do less.
Realizing that I have no crazy work to-do list, scheduled doctors appointment, report to write, oil change due, or meeting to attend, makes me a little anxious. Because suddenly, I could spend an entire day doing nothing. And once you realize, all you have is time... well then you are forced to discover that you can do anything you want.
And realizing your only limitation is yourself, can be more frightening than the current lycra leggings revolution.
Oh, the updating of my blogroll, will get done soon. I promise. I just have to put some lotion on...
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15 comments:
Oh I hear you - I LIVE for the adrenaline of the 'holy crap that/that/the other is due like NOW' sensation... and I also get that weird sensation of'what now' when on vacation with nothing to do but relax and wait for my various body-beauty regiments to dry.
Oh, and the lycra leggings revolution is HELLA scary. Nice to see someone else thinks so too!!
I will *find* things to do if I am left too long to my own devices. I like the rush...okay I live on the rush of having too much to do in too little time. But I am gradually learning that "magic Sarah time," is neither magic nor welcome in anyone else's life but my own. My desire to squeeze everything and everyone into my schedule means that folks feel "penciled" in and not truly loved and wanted. So, "magic Sarah time" must go by the wayside and genuine time management come in its place...
But I so feel you on that rush of adrenaline!
I used to be that girl... not so much anymore.
Now I find I dread it. My life is work work work, and one meeting from the other, and it seems I don't have the chance to procrastinate, it's just a matter of working to survive and get done what needs to be done.
If only I could catch up!
I used to be a procrastinator...I gave it up. Too stressful.
Now I do things right away, but don't remember that I did it, and at the last minute panic because I've forgotten that I've already done it.
Clearly, I have issues!
I can relate--and unfortunately seem to have to have that rush of adrenaline to finish anything--so I leave myself little time to do tasks to achieve it. I wish I didn't need it, and I wonder if one day, I'll do something poorly as a result....but so far, it works. Unlike you though, I'm GREAT at doing nothing and being lazy and having no to-do list.
the only class I failed in college was the self-paced one wih no deadlines
I need lists, deadlines, pressure, etc.
is there a support group or something we can join? :)
p.s. you have to let lotion dry before getting dressed? really??
What a novel idea! Actually finishing something early and enjoying time doing... nothing. Like, wrapping yourself up in a wool blanket and sleeping on the hammock.
Or, perhaps you're the kind of person that would rather sleep on the hammock FIRST and then do everything LAST.
Nevermind. :)
In college, I started using the phrase "If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute." I'm both proud and ashamed to say I still use it today.
i have always kind of thought i work best under pressure. a procrastinator to the max too, i, like you, when faced with extra time, just end up kind of wasting it.
i fear i have come to the dark side as well....
I LOVE procrastination - it just brings out the best in me.
Plus, the "I'm done with all my work I can relax now" feeling is overrated anyway...
I always wondered how people knew when they were done - if they started projects/tasks on time? Couldn't they always find something more to add or tweak. If you wait to the last minute - that HAS to be your final draft since there is no more time. If I finished early I would constantly feel the need to pick and edit meaning I would be doing MORE work. Who wants that?
Procrastination was a large part of my college success. That and overscheduling myself to the point of insanity - I think I'm just a "go!go!go!" person, not an "in a minute" one!
I was going to leave a really good comment, but I think I will do it tomorrow.
I am completely convinced that the internet itself was created by accident as a result of procrastinators with better things to do. It just has that "whoops, this is a total fluke, but omg so cool" feel to it.
And you're right, being unproductive during actual "free" time is so not even as much fun as being unproductive during "I should be doing my taxes" time.
P.S. "3am mass emails about my love for Oasis" ...we can officialy be friends now.
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