Daughter: Mom, I hate this shirt. It makes me look f-a-t. Fat!
Mom: Don't say that, it's not true. Try on the purple
(Time goes by, I contemplate red lace vs. pink cotton...)
Mom: No dear, the other one looked better. This one makes you look hefty.
Daughter: What's hefty mean?
Sometimes I feel like... people should have to have a license to parent.